Lisa (Lullabies) Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and Paediatric Sleep Coach shares her tips for parents transitioning from the NICU to home. Read on as she shares her tips and experiences.
However long (or short) your NICU journey has been, don’t underestimate how much it can affect your new little family. There is often a huge range of emotions that comes with leaving the safety bubble of the NICU and going home back into the ‘real’ world. For days, weeks, or sometimes even months, you’ve stood by and watched others care for your baby. You’ve (hopefully) been able to get more involved the more well your baby has become. The nurses are telling you you’re ready, you’ve got this, and you don’t need them anymore.
No matter the length of time your family has spent in the NICU, it’s incredibly easy to become ‘institutionalised’. A word that we no longer use as much anymore, but the right word for what happens to so many parents who walk through the doors into the secret world of the neonatal unit. Leaving the safety net and adjusting to life at home can feel overwhelming. So, while I can’t promise to cover everything, I have some advice to help ease the transition back into the real world.
Everything is going to be okay. I understand why you might be nervous, but rest assured, you’ve got this!
Establish A Support Network
Surround yourself with a strong support system consisting of family, friends, and healthcare professionals. Lean on them for emotional support, practical assistance, and guidance. Remember, you’re not alone.
No One Wants To See You Struggling
Meal trains have become incredibly popular in other countries. It’s where your support network gets together and arranges a meal a day to be prepared and delivered to you so that it’s one less thing you must think about. Apply this to everything, not just meals.
Outsource What You Can
If a meal train isn’t possible, then try meal vouchers or pre-made meals. Ignore the mess. A bit of clutter won’t hurt. When your support network asks you what you need, be honest and tell them the truth about what the little things you need help with. You might need the floor mopped. Maybe you need the dishwasher emptied. You need someone to pick up your other child from school. Maybe you need someone to watch the baby whilst YOU pick up your other child from school. Everyone needs different things, and people don’t know if you don’t tell them.
Open Communication
Keep open communication with your baby’s healthcare team, including doctors, nurses, and specialists. Discuss any concerns or questions you have about your baby’s health, feeding, and development. They can provide valuable insights, reassurance, and guidance during your transition to home period. Most neonatal units have a home visit provision for babies born under a certain weight/gestation. For those that don’t have this, then a phone call is never a problem if you need some reassurance.
At Hospital Discharge
Once your baby has been discharged from the NICU, your health visiting/community midwifery team (age of baby dependent) should be notified about the discharge, and they will usually check in with you. If you haven’t received any communication from them within a few days, then give them a call, sometimes referrals get lost in the system. You can never have too many people to ask questions of!
Prepare Prepare Prepare!
Get your house ready for your baby’s arrival by ensuring it’s safe and comfortable for the whole family. Set up a cosy nursery or area beside your bed with a cot, changing station, and feeding area. Keep essential supplies, such as nappies, wipes, and feeding equipment, close to hand. Make sure that you’ve got a water bottle, a book or your phone close to hand for when the inevitable nap trapped happens!
Focus On Bonding And Attachment
Spend quality time bonding with your baby through skin-to-skin contact, cuddling, and baby-wearing. Skin-to-skin contact not only promotes bonding but also helps regulate your baby’s body temperature, heart rate, and breathing. I know you already know this from your time in NICU, but it’s a good reminder that it doesn’t have to stop just because you’re home.
Try Not To Stress About Feeding
Whether you’re breastfeeding, formula feeding, or a combination of both, establish a feeding routine that works for you and your baby. Consult with a lactation consultant if you are struggling with breastfeeding. Feeding times are great bonding opportunities for you and your baby. You focus on feeding, and let the health visitor focus on everything else.
It WILL Be Different When You Get Home
That baby that fed every 4 hours like clockwork and slept in between will most likely no longer eat and sleep by the clock. Home is different. There are noises, smells, lights, baby classes, visitors, and so many things that weren’t in the neonatal unit. When babies enter the real world rather than the controlled environment of the neonatal unit, everything changes. If you are worried about your baby’s sleep, have a chat with a sleep coach. But allow yourself (and your baby!) time to adjust before implementing any strict routines, especially if they’re breastfeeding.
Set Boundaries
When you get home, it’s natural to want to wrap your baby up in cotton wool and protect them from the outside world. It’s also natural to want to show them off to everyone who wants to see them and give them all those cosies that they’ve missed out on. My point here is that however you feel about visitors, it’s ok. This is your baby. If you want to put rules in place, then do it. If you don’t, then that’s fine too. It’s up to you. This is your family, you do you.
Finally- Give Yourself Some Grace
Remember that this is a huge transition. Everything you’ve known in your parenting life so far has changed. It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok not to need any help. And it’s ok to realise that that lovely nappy changing area that you’ve set up is in completely the wrong place and doesn’t work where it is. So, change it. Very little is set in stone, and from here on out, it’s up to you to parent your way.
As you transition to life outside the NICU, remember that every family is different. Find what works best for you, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. You’ve already shown so much strength and resilience during your time in the NICU, now it’s time to enjoy life at home with your baby.
About Lisa – Lullabies
My name is Lisa, and I am a Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and Paediatric Sleep Coach based in Dubai and serving families worldwide. I believe in empowering parents with the knowledge and tools to achieve restorative sleep and successful breastfeeding.
I offer comprehensive guidance, assistance, and troubleshooting across all aspects of infant feeding, from establishing breastfeeding, to exclusive pumping to weaning.
With nearly two decades of experience as a paediatric and neonatal nurse, I have worked in diverse healthcare settings worldwide, including UK, USA, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and now Dubai, which has equipped me with a wealth of knowledge in different cultures. Throughout my career, my focus has always been on supporting parents, imparting knowledge, and empowering them to care for the most important thing in their life – their child.
Transitioning into the roles of a sleep coach and lactation consultant has allowed me to continue this important work while dedicating the time and attention necessary to truly make a difference. I am grateful to have found my passion in this field, and I am deeply fulfilled by the positive impact it has on the lives of the families I am fortunate to work with. Read more on my website, Instagram or TikTok.
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