If you want your children to be more independent and in touch with nature, then Viking parenting could be for you!
You’ve probably heard of the expression, “There’s no such thing as the wrong weather, just the wrong clothes.” Viking parenting promotes resilience, self-reliance, healthy risk-taking (like climbing trees), connecting with nature, physical fitness and quality family time.
Spending time outdoors in nature has huge health and social benefits, so why not embrace the Scandi lifestyle?
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With children in most Scandinavian countries not starting school until they are six (or seven in Finland), they have plenty of time to explore nature and play. In Sweden, many children go to “nature school” on a Saturday and studies show that Scandinavia has the happiest children.
You may have heard of ‘helicopter parenting’ where the parent hovers around the child and helps. Well, Viking parenting is the opposite of helicopter parenting. Icelandic parents actually call helicopter parenting ‘curling’ parenting – like sweeping a broom in front of a child to make the ice smoother (as in the Olympic sport).
What Does Viking Parenting Look Like In Practice?
In an article for The Guardian, Helen Russell, mother of three, describes how she has ‘accidentally’ become a parent of Vikings while living in Denmark. Her children come home smelling of woodsmoke and wanting saws as (2nd) birthday presents!
She talks about seven ways in which Scandi parenting defines parent and childhood, including embracing nature in all weathers (you just need appropriate clothing), busting stress through communal singing, and teaching children how to think, rather than what to think. She also warns against ‘over-praise’ to help develop a healthy sense of self-esteem and explains how family mealtimes are put before work.
How Are Play And Family Central To Viking Parenting?
Play, in all its forms, is central to the Scandinavian parenting style and playfighting is valued as a way of learning cooperation and conflict resolution. Children also learn about – and are exposed to – many, many different family units so they accept how families can be very different. Did you know that in Denmark “there are 37 different types of family unit” while in Iceland, 67% of births are outside of marriage?
Could I Be A Viking Parent?
You could argue that the pandemic has helped parents and children embrace the natural world and what’s immediately on our doorstep even more. Parents had to make do with what was available (it’s amazing what you can do with a backyard of fallen leaves) and the simple things, like climbing trees, walking and collecting natural materials for craft, made a bit of a comeback.
If your little one regularly spends time outdoors in all weathers, then you’re probably halfway to being a Viking parent yourself. Or maybe your little one regularly naps outside (with plenty of warm clothing and blankets) in the pram?
Perhaps they go to forest school or an outdoor nature group, or maybe heading outdoors rather than switching on a device is your default parenting style. Throw in some camping trips where your children stay up until 10pm and you probably qualify as a Scandi parent already.
If you want to embrace Scandinavian parenting, try some of the following:
- Let children play as much as possible, inside and outside.
- Encourage some balanced risk-taking, like climbing trees and trying different play equipment.
- Invest in waterproof trousers, clothing, base layers like thermals, and gloves for all weathers.
- Try camping (this could just be in the back garden).
- Sign up to 1000 Hours Outside for more ideas and ways of tracking your time outside as a family.
- Let children playfight with siblings/friends rather than stepping in straightaway.
- Encourage your child to be curious about the world by asking ‘how’ and ‘why’, rather than focusing on the ‘correct’ answer.
- If you feel you ‘overpraise’ your children, you could maybe try asking fact-based questions like ‘how did you do that?’ and ‘can you tell me more about it?’ to show you’re interested rather than just saying ‘that’s brilliant’.
- Aim to eat together at the table at least once a day if possible.
- Teach your children about different family units and parenting styles – there are loads of children’s books out there to help.
- Sing regularly with your child – even just nursery rhymes. Maybe join a rhyme time group.
If you don’t feel cut out for an outdoor life, you could sign your children up for a weekly outdoor play group or get them on the waiting list for Rainbows, Squirrels or Beavers where they’ll get regular opportunities to be outside and learn skills.
What Are The Different Parenting Styles From Other Countries?
Many cultures (including the Scandinavian countries) value shared mealtimes and so children learn from an early age how to sit, eat and join in with adult conversations.
In hotter countries like Spain and France, children will have siestas just like adults (think of this as not dropping their afternoon nap!), so will often stay up late. They’ll be up and about much later, maybe eating out or going for a walk with their families in the evenings. Think ‘holiday mode’ where your children have later bedtimes, but all year round!
As a seasonally colder country, parents in the UK do have a more of a 9-5 culture where we try and pack as much as we can into those ‘working hours’ and children go to bed earlier as they no longer nap. But did you know that in the past, children (and adults) used to have ‘two sleeps’? They’d go to bed when it got dusk or dark for their ‘first sleep’, then get up around midnight (with candles/oil lamps/by moonlight) to maybe eat something, socialise, or do some jobs for a couple of hours. Then back to bed in the early hours and up again with the sunrise.
So if your toddler or child is sleeping early and waking up for a bit in the small hours, perhaps they’re just reverting to this more innate body clock – try embracing it for a bit as a family and see what happens!
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