Is your three-year-old starting nursery for the first time and you’re looking for tips to help get them prepared? Then this is the guide for you! Read on to find our ten top ways to prepare your toddler for nursery.
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How Do I Get My Toddler Excited About Nursery?
Ever tried to get your kids excited about doing something, only for it to land like a lead balloon? Well, it can be the same with nursery. The more you talk about it, the less your child seems interested. This is understandable as for them, nursery can still feel like an abstract concept.
Sometimes a more ‘organic’ approach can help children become more naturally enthusiastic. Anything you can do to hinge the idea of nursery to something concrete and real can be a bonus. Perhaps you go shopping together for their new bag and find a lunchbox they would like to use. Or maybe take a walk to the nursery gates one morning and hear the excited shrieks of children coming from inside.
Some children may naturally start to feel curious, others may start saying things like ‘that’s my school’ or ‘this is the way to nursery’. Others will completely ignore the situation until it actually becomes a reality!
1. Involve Your Child In Packing Their Bag
Most nurseries will ask that children take a small backpack to hang up on their peg. This will contain essentials like a spare change of clothes, a water bottle and a snack. If your child is staying over lunchtime, you will also need a packed lunch (no nuts!)
Try to involve your child in packing their bag. Some children will love finding a pair of pants, leggings/trousers and top from their drawer and putting them in a bag. This also leads to opportunities for role-play where your child can practise packing and unpacking the bag. If your child is still in pull-ups, make sure you pop one or two of those in as well in a nappy sack for the morning.
Many nurseries give the children some independence in finding items if they need them, so if they have practise unzipping/zipping the pockets and finding their water bottle etc., this can help them feel more confident.
2. Find A Teddy/Mascot/A Photobook
Getting your child’s teddy or baby ready for school (even with their own back-pack!) can be another way to help your toddler to prepare for nursery. So embrace a bit of roleplay as teddy scoots to school, eats his lunch and (probably) wets his pants! Some nurseries ask children to bring in a few photos or simple ‘book’ showing friends and family. This can be a comfort for the children if they are missing home, as well as a talking point with their teacher or key worker.
3. Play School At Home – Ways To Prepare Your Toddler For Nursery
Your child may come home from a settling-in session and start wanting to roleplay. Maybe they’re calling out names, taking a register, finding things or sitting on the carpet. Encourage this and join in if you can. It may be what your child needs to process their new environment.
4. Encourage Outdoor Play
Another way to prepare your toddler for nursery is by getting your child used to being outdoors in all weather. Invest in full waterproofs and wellies, which you will usually need to supply for nursery. Nurseries will typically have an outdoor play session every day, whether it’s raining, frosty, snowing or sunny. So help your child get used to different types of weather. Maybe try some rainy day activities.
Some nurseries may run as a ‘forest school’ or give children forest school type sessions. See our article on Viking Parenting for how parents can embrace time outside
5. Encourage Your Child In Making Choices
Binary choices can work really well for children of this age (three to four). For example, would you like to wear leggings or trousers? Shall we walk or scoot to nursery today? Would you like apple or banana for snack?
These choices can help your child feel more prepared and happier to go in knowing they have had some say in what is happening.
6. Use A Calendar – Ways To Prepare Your Toddler For Nursery
It can be helpful to have a visual on the wall so your child knows which day/times they are going to nursery, when they will be at home with you, and when the weekend is. Try this chart here. Also, you can try asking a few open-ended questions like ‘What do you like playing?’ or‘ What’s your favourite toy’? If they already attend the nursery setting but are moving up a class you could ask, ‘What do you play with your friends at nursery?’, ‘Who do you play with?’ or ‘What’s your favourite thing to play with?’ If your child doesn’t answer, don’t worry. They may not want to engage with questions at the moment.
7. Have A (Visual) Routine
For days when your child is going to nursery, try and follow the same routine. This could be something like ‘get up’ – ‘use potty or toilet’ – ‘eat breakfast’ – ‘clean teeth’ – ‘scoot or walk to nursery’.
All children (and particularly if your child is neurodiverse) will benefit from a visual routine stuck to the wall somewhere. You will find that many nurseries, and Reception classes too, use visual cards for their routines so children know when to expect snacks and breaks/free play.
8. Try To Be Low Key
If your child is anything like some of our own children here at Happity, too much advance warning can actually lead to more anxiety. Young children don’t have the most developed sense of time. So ‘next week’ can feel like ‘tomorrow’ to them. Anything in the past can be ‘yesterday’. So maybe a day or two before is all you need to mention to them that they’ll be going to play at a new place. From experience, sometimes the more casual, the better!
9. Go To Settling-In Days And Sessions
One of the best ways to prepare your toddler for nursery is to make sure you attend any settling-in sessions. Some nurseries will invite parents in for these as well, so your child feels safe and secure exploring their new environment with you by their side. Others will ask you to drop your child off for a much shorter session than usual, so they can begin to get used to the routine and key worker or teacher.
The advantage of attending a settling-in session with your child is that you can make connections easily with parents and children in the same class. These friendships can be very reassuring for you and it can make arranging playdates much easier if you have already swapped details.
The advantage of your child attending on their own is that they may find it easier when it comes to their ‘first day’. They will already have a sense of what it’s like to go in and come out ready for you to pick them up.
10. Go To Some Baby And Toddler Classes – Ways To Prepare Your Toddler For Nursery
If you’ve never tried a baby or toddler class with your toddler, now might be the time to try one. The socialisation of baby classes can help to normalise the environments for children ahead of nursery.
There’s tons of variety out there, from language classes and dance classes to toddler signing, forest schools and gymnastics. Read more here about the benefits of toddler and baby classes for your child.
11. Save Bedtime For Sleep
Telling your child new information just before they go to sleep can mean their brain switches back on or even increases anxiety for the next morning. Then they may find it harder to go to sleep in the first place! But your child seems unsettled at bedtime in the days or night before they are due to start, perhaps they are thinking about nursery. After all, it is a big deal for them! A casual conversation may be all they need to dispel some of those worries and help reassure them.
Try saying something like, ‘Oh yes, going to a new place can feel a bit scary. But the teachers will help you and there will be lots of friends to share and play with.” Perhaps if they have a favourite teddy or soft toy, you could suggest he/she goes with them to start with. Or maybe share the name of their keyworker, ask them what they like best about playing with friends etc.
How Do I Avoid A Teary Drop-Off?
In all honesty, you can’t. Don’t worry if your child bursts into tears as they’re getting ready to go in the door – or once you say goodbye. It’s just part of the separation process and is totally natural. Think how much better you feel after a good cry. It’s the same for our toddlers – that release of emotion can be necessary for them to process this new change before they move on and try something new.
Having said that, if they are expecting to say goodbye to you at the door, and know what’s in their bag, this may give them some sense of control. So their tears may be very short-lived, particularly if they are securely attached (i.e. have a strong bond with you and know/trust you are coming back for them at the end of the session).
Just trust that your child will be with an experienced and caring professional, so they are likely to be ‘fine’ within a few minutes of you leaving.
“My daughter would be teary most mornings, but would come out bouncing and singing at the end of the morning, saying she’d had loads of fun with her friends.”
– Liz, Team Happity
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