Settling down to watch a film featuring a pregnancy before you actually had children, you probably believed a lot of glamorous (and not so glamorous) things about giving birth. If you’re anything like us here at Team Happity, you’ll have picked up lots of top pregnancy ‘tips’ from films and TV shows like Friends. But what did we believe – and are any of them actually true?
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Myth #1: That Your Pregnancy Will Be Unplanned
Name a film where the characters actually plan their pregnancy. Can you think of one?* Even in Meet The Parents (2000), an unexpected pregnancy is used as a plot point, while the entire plots of Bridget Jones’ Baby (2016) and Mamma Mia (2008) revolve around not knowing who the father/fathers are.
And what of IVF babies? A shout out to Phoebe in Friends (1994-2004) who actually showed this as being a real thing. Baby Fever (2022) comes up trumps with a pregnancy that is both IVF AND unplanned. According to Netflix, ‘When a fertility doctor drunkenly inseminates herself with her ex-boyfriend’s sperm, she scrambles to explain her pregnancy — and win back her lost love.’ Yes, because that happens all the time, right?!
In What To Expect When You’re Expecting (2012) we do at least have a balance of some people getting pregnant unexpectedly and others wanting to get pregnant but struggling.
*If you can think of one, chances are they will conceive after just one night
“When I was searching for ‘films about pregnancy’, 90% of the films were about an unexpected pregnancy. Media often depicts pregnancy as unplanned/a shock/an inconvenience.” Leanne, Team Happity
Myth #2 That You Must Keep Your Pregnancy A Secret At Work (Except From Your Most-Bosom Friend)
Pregnant women in films not only have a tendency to publicly run out to buy every single pregnancy test in the chemist (see Knocked Up (2007)), but also to confide their suspicions in just one person.
We hope society has moved on enough to not discriminate against pregnant women, particularly in the UK. Awareness of the gender pay gap has really helped. But despite this, Bridget in Bridget Jones’ Baby tries really hard to keep her pregnancy a secret at work from everyone except Miranda.
“There is a whole bit with Bernadette on The Big Bang Theory (2007-2019) finding out she is pregnant and not wanting to announce it to work because she would be treated differently – but it accidentally gets found out.”
– Alex, Team Happity
Myth #3 That Morning Sickness Is In The Morning
So-called morning sickness isn’t all neatly packaged-up so it all happens before 7am/breakfast/midday. Knocked Up, Shameless (Veronica’s mum) and Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018) are culprits here!
Morning sickness and general nausea can happen all round the clock. And thanks to more general awareness and high-profile celebrity cases of extreme morning sickness (hyperemesis gravidarum), we’re definitely seeing more acknowledgement of this too.
Myth #4 That You’ll Achieve So Much In Your Last Trimester
While a lot of pregnant women do go into ‘nesting’ mode and have bursts of energy cooking and cleaning (though the idea of this being hormonally-driven is contested), it’s not uncommon to feel distracted, lacking concentration and generally all over the place during pregnancy. See Bridget Jones’ Baby for examples of both of these.
“I remember I modelled my first pregnancy on Rachel from Friends (1994-2004), mostly because they at least seemed to depict that she didn’t find it all sunshine and rainbows, so I could relate. The amount of TV/film that makes out that pregnancy is this magical, wonderful experience without showing the other side is crazy. Some mothers do feel like that but I know I certainly didn’t. The episode where Rachel’s overdue and insanely grumpy always makes me laugh because that was basically my whole third trimester – “Get out, get out, get out!”
– Becky, Team Happity
“Phoebe eating cereal from a bowl balanced on her baby bump (when she was pregnant with the triplets) always made me laugh. It was the number one thing I wanted to try when I had a bump too.”
– Liz, Team Happity
Myth #5 That You’ll Give Birth Without Even Realising You’re Pregnant
Fans of Eastenders and Hollyoaks in the 1990s will testify that pretty much 100% of pregnancies were secret, and a massive surprise to the mother as well (when the babies actually turned up). Of course this can happen, but it’s not as usual as the soaps would have you believe. If scenes like this from Look Who’s Talking Too (1990) didn’t put you off in the first place, that is!
Check out Juno (2007) for a different take on teenage pregnancy with the lead character debating whether or not to keep her baby, adoption and a contemplation on both the physical and emotional pain.
Myth #6 That You Need To Pack For Hospital Like You’re Going To The Beach For Two Weeks’ Holiday
If you’re actually conscious/compos mentis enough to do a Sudoku puzzle or process this week’s top gardening tips once your cervix is 7-8cm dilated, we applaud you.
“They advise you to pack things like books, magazine and download movies to watch while passing the time while in labour, as though you’re on holiday? 36hrs with my first and I definitely didn’t use any of these from my hospital bag!”
– Jen, Team Happity
Myth #6 That Your Waters Will Break With A Bang (And You Must Hail A Taxi)
If the drama in films and TV shows is to be believed, your waters will break with a gush all over the floor (particularly if you’re out and about doing some last-minute shopping). Passing bystanders will take several step backs (in tandem) and marvel at the miracle of birth. In Sex And The City (2008) Charlotte’s waters break and she immediately tries to hail a cab. In Baby Mama (2008), Angie’s waters also break in the street (and you can guess what happens next). If you’re Bridget Jones, you’ll be carried fireman style through the streets by Colin Firth and that guy from Gray’s Anatomy. Clearly these films missed the NCT/NHS classes which said to ring ahead to the hospital/maternity unit/call your midwife.
But did you know your waters might be just an undramatic trickle or may not even break at all before you go into labour? Check the NHS website here for more signs of labour. Always follow NHS advice on what to do when your waters break and remember it’s usual to go into labour within 24 hours of your waters break (if they break at all before labour).
Here’s a more underplayed portrayal of waters breaking when Amy in Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-2021) goes into labour at the police station and tries to carry on as normal.
“Always makes me laugh how they portray waters breaking in films and programmes – never very realistic!”
– Kate, Team Happity
Myth #7 That Labour Is Fast
For some, it can be. For others, labour can be a day or two, and latent labour can go on for ages. Hurrah for Rachel in Friends here who actually has a 21-hour labour (although she does rush to the hospital as soon as her water breaks and before contractions have started).
Check out The Big Bang Theory for a more realistic portrayal of a nine-months pregnancy, where Bernadette is overdue and her friends try and help her induce labour. Bernadette goes to the hospital too ‘early’ (contractions are 12 minutes apart) and is sent home. She’s told to come back when the contractions are five minutes apart for one hour. Clearly the show’s researchers have done their, well, research on this one.
The Office US (2005-13) takes it even further. Playing on the idea of going to hospital too ‘early’, Pam almost gets there too late! She starts getting contractions while at work but carries on working and tries to push through it.
“I was expecting a big long drawn-out labour or the cliché water breaking somewhere inconvenient and then having immediate labour pains and baby an hour later!”
– Becky, Team Happity
Myth #8 That Births Only Take Place In The Back Of A Car/Side Of The Road/Away From Hospital
In Where The Heart Is (2000), Natalie Portman gives birth in aisle five of a Walmart, while in The Best Man Holiday (2013), Robyn gives birth in a car. Actually just over 2% of births in the UK in 2020 were homebirths while in 2023-24, one in four babies were born by caesarean. There’s a 2021 Lebanese film called C-Section but can you name a mainstream one?
“My final pregnancy did have a bit more movie-style story. An ambulance car blue-lighted us through traffic as I was close to having her in the car, my waters broke in the hospital lift and she was out after a couple of pushes ten minutes after. So that’s a one in three chance for me (as I have three children).”
– Jen, Team Happity
Myth #9 That You Will Be In Labour On Your Back With Your Legs In Stirrups During The Birth
Squatting or kneeling on all fours is far more comfy and productive as it lets you ‘bear down’ using gravity, and helps open the pelvis. And stirrups aren’t as common as they show in the films! In Baby Mama and Knocked Up, for example, they both give birth on their backs.
Give us a good film or TV show with a water birth too. Peep Show (2003-2015) nearly manages it. As well as Sophie often being on all fours instead of her back during labour, she keeps changing her mind about what kind of birth she wants, swapping from birthing pool to epidural, to finally having a C-section.
“I did actually pack my bikini in case we had a water birth (we didn’t – though the midwife got as far as running the bath).”
– Liz, Team Happity
Myth #10 That Your ‘Newborn’ Will Be Massive/An Alien
Contrary to many films and TV shows, your newborn won’t be as huge as you expect! You’re also not going to give birth to an alien, gremlin or similar.
“It always makes me laugh that [in films] two days after the birth the baby is approximately the size of a six-month-old.”
– Lisa, Team Happity
Myth #11 That You Will Feel An Immediate Connection With Your Baby
While for some mothers this is true, some mums are so exhausted/knocked out/tired from labour, that feeling of ‘unconditional love’ may not kick in straight away. So it’s not always the ‘magical moment’ you often get in the films. And don’t worry if you feel like that – your body and mind may just need some sleep first and time to recover.
Alternative comedy BoJack Horseman (2014-2020) does show a main character, Princess Carolyn, talking about how she struggles to feel that special feeling with her new baby too. And well done to the writers of Sex And The City (1998-2004) for having Charlotte confide in Miranda how hard motherhood can be!
Read more here about PND and do seek help if these feelings last longer than the ‘baby blues’ period of a week or so.
Myth #12 That Your Friends And Family Can Wander In At Will To Visit You and Baby
Ever heard of visiting hours? Or a limit of two visitors?
Myth #13 That Who The Father Is And Getting Engaged After Having The Baby Are The Most Pressing Issues Of The Day
How Bridget Jones still has the energy to think of the whole Mark Darcy/silver fox saga moments after giving birth, is beyond us. And what was Joey even doing next to Rachel’s bed when those moments could have/should have been spent with Ross?
Bridget Jones does, however, show some of the challenges of pregnancy in your 40s as a potential single parent, and some fairly realistic prenatal classes with both ‘fathers’ attending.
In It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (2014-2020), there’s a parody on trying to work out who the father of Dee’s baby is and a nod to ‘three men and a baby’, with the twist at the end being that Dee is a surrogate** to a transgender woman and her partner.
**warning – some may find this clip offensive in places
“Friends took a surprisingly modern stance on motherhood that we appreciate – Phoebe as a surrogate mother; Monica as an adoptive mother; Rachel as an accidental mother.”
– Friends Fan
#Myth 14 That You’ll Be Able To Leave The Hospital Straightaway With Your Newborn
Not until you’ve completed a load of paperwork first and shown the midwives that you are happy with feeding (which is reassuring!). But even then, you’ll probably have to wait for a shift change. So you’re not getting out of that room anytime fast!
In the Korean drama Birthcare Center (2020), it focuses not just on the pregnancy, but also the postnatal care for both mothers and their babies, including the challenges faced by working women.
#Myth 15 That Breastfeeding Will Be *So* Easy
They don’t usually show how it’s something that has to be taught, learnt or that baby will ‘bite’ your nipples. Or how may you have to squeeze your breast in the right position or have your baby’s tongue-tie sorted.
Phoebe in Friends gives birth to triplets, and pretty much hands them straight over to her brother Frank and his wife Alice. So what happened to Phoebe’s colostrum? Or breast-feeding in general? Was she tandem-feeding the triplets and secretly living in Frank and Alice’s apartment for the following six months? Or did her milk never come in? So many questions.
How did Chandler and Monica feed the twins? Again, they were handed straight over from Erika with less than a day in hospital. What of the paperwork?
Also, name a single film or TV series which shows mastitis…a shout out to Sex And The City here which does actually show the struggles of breastfeeding thanks to Miranda.
#Myth 16 That You’ll Regain Your Pre-Pregnancy Shape ‘Moments’ After The Birth
In many films, the mother miraculously returns to her pre-pregnancy size and shape the moment the baby is born. Rachel Green. AKA Jennifer Aniston. No one gives birth and looks that good straight after.
In WandaVision (2021) we see a parody when Wanda gives birth to her twin sons. She pushes out each baby in less than a minute before bouncing back almost immediately to her old physique.
“You almost assume from the media/films etc that after a few weeks you are good to go but it takes over a year sometimes longer for your body to fully heal and recover.”
– Alex, Team Happity
“People will actually think you’re still pregnant for a few days, weeks – or even months – after!”
– Liz, Team Happity
#Myth 17 That Your Baby Will Only Be Awake During Sociable Hours
Even in that episode of Friends where baby Emma won’t stop crying, she sticks to daylight hours. Aunt Monica is called upon to rock her to sleep, while Rachel/Jennifer lounges around in the living room. In reality, she would be trying to (cluster) feed Emma every one to two hours and rocking her to sleep herself, while stumbling around in that newborn fog which doesn’t seem to lift until at least 10 weeks.
Here’s a relatable clip from The Big Bang Theory of Bernadette trying to get her baby to go to sleep. And many new mums do face fears about their child being safe like in Friends where Rachel thinks her apartment has flooded. It’s done in a comedy way but there’s clearly some truth behind it.
So there we have it. Some pregnancy myths debunked and explored. And check out these films too if you want to see for yourself how different films show pregnancy and birth. And here are some more pregnancy reveals in films for fun.
“So the key takeaway from this is that we all learnt about pregnancy from Friends?!”
– Sara, Happity Co-Founder
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