Are you a single father, or know someone who is? Having the father as the primary caregiver for their children isn’t always the most widely visible family unit, but there are definitely things you can do to celebrate single dads.
We’re joined by Jack Shaw of Modded who’s here to share his personal experience of being a single father- and debunk a few myths about single fatherhood.
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Fatherhood is tough, but being a single father is on another level. One of the first things I notice when going to the playground with my son is people look at me differently. It’s not always malicious, but it’s there. Some will even comment along the lines of, “You’re doing great for a single dad.”
While usually well-intentioned, I feel like I’m doing something extraordinary when really I’m just doing what a good parent does. This is just one of the many comments I encounter daily. I want to address some other social stigmas and misconceptions many single dads face and how you can learn to deal with them.
Myth #1: Dads Aren’t As Nurturing As Mums
Many people believe mothers are inherently better at raising their children than fathers. Traditionally, women have been seen as the prime caregivers, while men have been expected to be less emotionally expressive providers. As a result, people praise us fathers when we show nurturing behaviour when we’re simply fulfilling our responsibilities as parents.
Myth #2: The “Weekend Dad” Assumption
I always feel compelled to say I’m a single father because people assume I’m a part-time parent. Comments like “Oh, you have him this weekend? How cute!” can make me feel like I’m just the babysitter. When they learn I’m a primary caregiver, they think I’ve got it tough.
Myth #3: Single Dads Are Invincible
Men are supposed to be unshakeable rocks, capable of powering through anything without showing a crack. Society often equates masculinity with stoicism, which makes it incredibly difficult for men to seek help. Research shows single fathers are more likely to experience psychological distress than partnered fathers, yet they often find themselves without adequate support.
Myth #4 Single Fatherhood Means Dating Is a Challenge
(This one is partly true.) Some people aren’t comfortable dating dads with kids. You’ll probably get “Children aren’t my thing” or “I’m not ready for that.” Moreover, spontaneous dates are now impossible. Everything needs to be planned far in advance, and even then, there’s always a possibility of a last-minute, child-related emergency. But dating a single dad should be no different from dating any single parent.
Myth #5: People Assume We Are Less
People assume that dads can’t do what mums can and that we can’t be present enough in our kids’ lives. It’s time to show everyone that independent fathers can be just as involved and dedicated as any parent. I’m a single dad to a young one who loves to draw, play and explore the world around him. I’m happy to take the time to encourage that creativity on a regular basis.
How to Deal With Stigma As A Single Dad
Preconceived notions can sting, but the good news is you have control over how you handle them.
1. Do Fun Things Together Often – Celebrate Single Dads
When you’re out and about with your little one, you’re visibly demonstrating your role as a caregiver. However, others might comment on how nice it is that you’re giving your partner a break by taking on the shopping and child care yourself. Going on fun outings or playing at local spaces like the park more often can help eliminate the “weekend dad” assumption.
Plus, you’ll make learning more fun. The simple act of playing on a playground can help develop your child’s motor skills, thinking and problem-solving skills, all while you create more memories with them. The more single dads are visible in public spaces, the more you can help lessen social stigma.
2. Make New Friends – Celebrate Single Dads
Raising a child alone can feel overwhelming and isolating, so it’s crucial to have a supportive network of other single parents who can offer support and practical advice. Find a Facebook group, a parenting forum, join an in-person support community or go to some baby and toddler groups where single dads may be present. These steps can boost your self-confidence.
3. Practise Positive Self-Talk – Celebrate Single Dads
Dealing with the aftermath of splitting a household is hard enough. Give yourself grace and positive self-talk. There’s no shame in being a single dad. There are around 3.18 million single-parent families in the UK, so know that you’re not alone. While independent parenting isn’t easy, you can make it more bearable by speaking kindly to yourself.
4. Avoid Comparison – Celebrate Single Dads
It’s easy to question your parenting when you’re a single dad. I’ve seen all kinds of “influencers” and experts on social media and wondered if I’m doing the right thing. While these people can have great advice at times, you must never compare yourself to someone else’s expectations.
Let’s Celebrate Single Fatherhood
Amidst the social stigma, single dads are proving every day that they are as capable, loving and responsible as any parent. Take a moment to celebrate yourself today for raising an amazing child.
Thanks To Jack Shaw – Modded
With a specialised focus on personal growth, Jack Shaw‘s articles provide actionable steps and valuable wisdom to ignite self-improvement. Jack is the senior Lifestyle editor of Modded, where he explores topics of mental health, relationships and parenting from the perspective of a single father. You can also find his works published in Tiny Buddha, Parent Co., Calmerry and more.
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