What does a mum with PND look like? It might not be the one you expect. She might be the mum you meet at a toddler group who looked like she’s got it all together. Or the mum you passed on the street who smiled and looked so happy.
The truth is you might never know how another mum is REALLY feeling. So be kind! Always.
1. The mother with the biggest smile in the room
When you think of someone who has depression you expect them to look sad or down. But a mum with PND might have the brightest smile in the room. Why? Because she might be putting on a mask. And making a really big effort to hide her true feelings.
2. The one who looks like they’ve got it all together
A mum with PND might look like someone who has got the hang of this parenting gig and appears to do it with ease. She might post photos to social media where she and her baby look so happy and content. You might even see those pics and feel a little envious of how easily she seems to have slotted into her new role as a mama.
Remember that social media never tells the whole story. The mum you think is bossing it might really be struggling behind closed doors. She might also be doing both!
3. The one who is chatty and engaged when you meet them
You might expect a mum with PND is withdrawn and disengaged. But she might be friendly and chatty when you meet her. The truth is it might have taken a lot of strength and energy for her to get out and be with others. And she might be putting in her all to chat and engage to find support but to also hide her PND – especially with those she’s just met.
4. The one who looks amazing
You met a mum who looked amazing. Dressed immaculately, her smile enhanced by a slick of lippy. Hair looking fab. You cannot always tell who has depression by her outward appearance. She might have put her best look on to raise her confidence before leaving the house.
6. The mum who is surrounded by family and friends
You might know or meet a mum who has family nearby who are super supportive and who has loads of amazing friends. And think that they must be so happy and well.
It can certainly help, but even being surrounded by an army of caring people that love you is sometimes no shield for PND.
Those suffering might be surrounded by a load of people who care but still feel isolated and alone.
7. The mother you LEAST expect to have PND
The truth is that you might not know who is struggling with their mental health. Unless they tell you.
Sometimes those suffering choose not to tell many people about their struggles.
PND – Behind The Mask
There is still too much stigma and too many myths surrounding PND. Many mums might feel a misplaced feeling of shame or a fear of judgement if they admit they are suffering.
They might feel alone and lonely.
They might not know how to ask for help. Or just not have the energy to reach out.
Support for PND
Sometimes the hardest and bravest step when you have PND is asking for help. When you take that step you are one step closer to recovery. And PND is 100% recoverable.
You’re busy looking after your baby. You’re coping with sleep deprivation. You just don’t have time to think about how to lose any weight you put on in pregnancy. You should always love your body – it just grew a tiny human after all! But what are some easy bite-size weight loss tips for busy mums? It’s all about learning to walk before you can run!
The dreaded D word bringing out the toddler in you!
When it comes to trying to lose weight and the dreaded ‘D’ word,does your brain have a particular reaction that can be frustrating, torrential, aggravating and usually end up with you sitting on the naughty step with a tub of ice cream in your lap as you have a little bit of a cry?
First of all, let us reassure you, you are not alone! Most of us have heard the word ‘diet’ so many times that it immediately sends us into a fight or flight frenzy! We are all in the same boat when it comes to that ‘D’ word.
But, sadly, here comes the bad news: quick-fix diets rarely work!
A bit of a difficult pill to swallow for a lot of people. But speaking for the sake of mums here: we don’t have time to think about how to lose weight. We are tired, and so the mere sight of a salad makes us want an extra bit of cake. Our reactions mimic our toddlers, and suddenly not wanting to share is kind of understandable.
So, should we just give up because we are busy? Definitely not. If you’re feeling a bit down about your new mum tum then here are some easy ways to approach it all.
Weight loss tip for busy mums: “Learning to walk”
When a baby is taking its first magical steps, it doesn’t happen automatically. Our baba’s don’t suddenly kick their heels together in the air and start galloping through the wind, doing star jumps and flips.
First, they learn the basics. They learn how to sit up, they learn how to stand, and they learn how to balance. Then, and only then, have they got some base work and can learn to walk.
The same logic can be applied to when we want to try and get healthy. It’s near impossible to jump straight into the lifestyle of the fit and healthy. We shouldn’t hold such high expectations of ourselves of being able to do it all straight away! If we want to be able to run, we first need to learn to walk
And if we want to learn to walk, we need to focus on the base work.
Step one: sitting up (yup, we’re still talking weight loss tips)
This is the first big step and the beginning of your journey. For a lot of us, this is the most difficult. Mainly because we have decided we want to do something to change our lifestyle. It’s okay to feel nervous! But, we should not inflate this step into being our end goal. We all have a finish line to reach, and it’s not going to be at the starting pole.
Our first hurdle is this: do just one thing that will begin to improve your mental or physical health.
Not something as vague as “start a diet” however. This one thing should be specific. Think of what you are going to do in more detail.
A couple of weight loss tips/ideas that we had for mums:
Do one activity a week that involves physical exercise. That might be as simple as walking your little one to the park when you would normally drive. Or signing up for a baby/toddler class that involves more physical activity. We have plenty of classes listed (Latino Bambino, Sweaty Mama, Buggyfit to list just a few) on Happity that might help with this.
Learn more about Nutrition: This step may not involve making any changes to your eating habits yet. This step is more just about finding out what nutrition is. And how eating well can make you feel better. One of the easiest ways you can slide these little tidbits into your day is by following a few nutrition/body positivity pages on social media! Some influencers on Instagram include NicsNutrition or Rhirition for nutrition information, and Alexlight_ldn for body positivity. Have a look around to see who appeals to you!
A change is a change, no matter how small or simple it might sound at first. Once doing one of these feels second nature to you, and is firmly in your routine, then move to the next step.
Step two – standing up
The next step isn’t too tricky to wrap your head around: add one more thing to your routine that will help your mental or physical health.
A few more weight loss tips for mums!:
Eating at regular meal times: This one can often be the downfall for a lot of mamas. But, why not try eating at the same time that your child is eating. Or just before/after if it’s impossible to eat and feed! Try not to forget about yourself when you are feeding others. And if eating all of your meals regularly still sounds too hard, then try at least getting your breakfast at a regular time every morning.
Getting enough sleep: Studies have shown that getting good quality sleep is equally as important as diet and exercise in regulating our weight. Again, this is a tricky one for mums. But, there’s a few things you can try doing to squeeze in a few extra hours of sleep. Napping at the same time your child for example. Or going to bed an hour earlier than normal. It can be tempting to want to stay awake for as much as your “alone time” as possible. But if you catch your extra Z’s, you’ll feel a lot of mental benefits too like an improved mood and reduced levels of stress.
It’s a good thing to note that if you try one of these weight loss tips for mums, and you just can’t do it right now or it’s not working, then change it! Give something else a go and dip your toe in the different waters.
Managed to squeeze one of these into your routine too? Great! Onto the next step.
Step three – finding your balance
You’re getting the idea. Add another thing to your routine that will help your mental or physical health. You’ve done it twice already now, you can do it a third!
More weight loss tips for mums? Don’t mind if we do!:
Meal prepping: Time to raid the tupperware cupboard! Meal prepping is a great way to have your breakfast, lunch and/or dinners ready to go within a moments notice. Give yourself a regular day where you know you’ll have a bit of free time (and when you’re not mentally exhausted!) to prep up some healthy and ready to go meals. There’s a few good ideas over on Tasty, but there’s also plenty of videos on YouTube to give you some ideas too!
Resist eating up your kid’s leftovers: One of our pitfalls! our child leaves behind food on their plate and we are tired and hungry and pooch it off. Make it your mantra to avoid eating what they leave on their plates!
Reduce cakes, biscuits and sweets: This one is the bane of us all! An important thing to note: you should not tell yourself that you are cutting it out altogether! If you really and dearly want that slice of cake, then you deserve it! Go for it, and don’t tell yourself “no”. All you should consider doing is reducing the amount of that thing you are having gradually. No sudden changes, no quick decisions. Take your time with it. Because life is too short to not have that tesco jam doughnut every once in a while!
How are you doing? Mastered this one? Okay, next step!
Step four – Walking
So, this is what it’s been leading up to. This is what the base work has been for. This is where we get on the road and figure out how to lose weight.
And, here’s a surprise, you’re already doing it. You’ve walked three steps already, and you’ve done them at your own pace.
By this point, you will have taught yourself the ways in which you personally find your body is able to change. You can find the ideal ways to convince your body to do little changes without cutting out anything that you don’t want to.
Understandably, this is a long haul approach, and the weight will not fly off. But remember, this weight didn’t arrive overnight, it won’t leave overnight either.
Keep on keeping on with new weight loss tips
From here, it’s as simple as carrying on! Keep on introducing new things into your lifestyle that will help you and your health. Gradually, you’ll be a completely different person to the one you once were. But, patience is key! Do not try to rush your health.
The NHS have listed a few more ways you can improve your healthy eating here (if you are looking for more ideas).
Oh, and we have just one more extra point to say to those who want to lose weight.
Remember – try to love your body
This world is made up of so many different people, and the wobbly bits that make us different make us wonderful! The world can offer all sorts of tips on how to get healthier. But, that’s exactly it. You should think about wanting to be healthy, mentally and physically. Being healthy doesn’t necessarily mean researching how to lose weight. Being healthier may mean for you to figure out how to love yourself.
So we want to say this: big shout out to the mum bods, the mum tums and your wobbly bits.
If you are reading this as a new mum, remember that it took nine months for your body to grow and change so it makes sense that it will take at least nine months to change back. The human body is miraculous. You did just grow a tiny human in there, remember? Do not punish or hate your body for achieving that amazing feat! Give it the extra love it needs.
And If you are reading this as a dad, well you have been carrying the stresses and the weight of supporting your partners through all this too! Do not feel bad for gaining a little weight in the process. This weight was gained through love and care for your family. Give it a little bit of love too!
Disclaimer: We are not health or medical professionals and you should always seek medical advice if you are worried about your health.If you are severely concerned about your own or a loved one’s weight/health, then you should contact your GP to seek out help.
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