The world feels like a very heavy place right now. We all watched in shock as the news broke that Putin had invaded and started a war in Ukraine. As tensions mount and casualties worsen many of us are wondering what we can do to help.
Here are some things you can do to help:
Donate to charities helping people in Ukraine
There are a number of charities who are providing aid, supplies and support to the people of Ukraine. Many are accepting donations to help them further their work. Donating is one way you can help.
Here are some of the charities accepting online donations:
British Red Cross – The Red Cross is working to support people in Ukraine in this desperate time of need. Your donation could help people in Ukraine get food, water, shelter, medicine and first aid. Find out more and how to donate here.
Sunflower of Peace – Fundraising to provide medical and humanitarian aid that will be used by doctors and paramedics in the areas affected by the violence in Ukraine. Your donation could help them distribute medicine, first aid backpacks and medical instruments.
United Help Ukraine – Providing medical and humanitarian relief to the people of Ukraine, affected by the attacks. Their work includes donating food and medical supplies to Ukraine refugees. Find out more and how to donate.
UNICEF – Working to help and support children in Ukraine, since the conflict began 8 years ago. They are especially concerned for the safety and wellbeing of children who have become separated from their families. Right now they are continuing to support children and families in Ukraine, providing food and clean water and working round the clock to keep families safe. You can donate here.
International Rescue Committee – Helping Ukrainians who have been forced to flee their homes. Your donation can help them provide families with warm blankets, a cookstove so that they can prepare hot meals and a refugee kit filled with essential supplies.
#HelpUkraineEmergencyAppeal – Working with accredited and registered Ukrainian charities to provide medicines, food and critical services to support the most vulnerable to overcome the consequences and trauma of war. Find out how to donate here.
Voice Of Children – A charity in the Donetsk and Luhansk regions of Ukraine who provide support (both practical and psychological) to children who have been caught up in the conflict or separated from their families. Right now they are providing emergency psychological support to children who have witnessed violence and they are helping families move away from the eastern regions of Ukraine. You can donate here.
Donate clothes and items locally
Drop off points are being organised across the UK for people to donate clothes and other items for new arrivals who have fled the Ukraine to a new country. Over 100,000 refugees have crossed the Ukraine border into Poland already. And Polish organisations in the UK are organising collections to help. The White Eagle Club on Balham High Road in London are asking for donations of items they can sort and ship over to Poland. You can donate items such as clothing, blankets, sleeping bags, toiletries and nappies. They need volunteers to sort through donations too. Check your local news outlets and social media to find out if any donation points have been set up in your area.
How to help your child if they are worried about the war in Ukraine
Your child might well have seen things on the news or heard things in the playground about the war in Ukraine and be worrying about what it means. Schools will be talking to children in an age-appropriate way about the conflict. But they still might be worrying.
Ignoring or avoiding the topic could lead to your child feeling more anxious or scared. But it can be hard to know how to talk to your child about a situation, which is very serious and which also makes you anxious and afraid too.
Save the Children has put together some really useful advice on how to talk to your child about the situation in Ukraine. Their tips include:
Making time to talk to and really listen to your child
Validating their feelings. You can restate what they are telling you they are feeling by saying things like ‘You are feeling very scared right now’. That way they know that their feelings have not been dismissed and are being listened to.
Making sure that you talk to them in a way that is appropriate to their age.
Reassuring them that adults across the world are working really hard to help and sort out the situation.
Giving them practical ways to help. Older children might like to make drawings about hoping for peace, for example.
Spring is just around the corner and to get you in the mood we’ve put together some quick and easy nature crafts for kids. These are all two activities in one as you can spend a happy time collecting leaves and petals, sticks and pebbles on a nature walk. Then you can spend a happy afternoon crafting and making activities from your treasures.
Have fun!
1. Nature crafts for kids -Little leaf animals
Gather a bunch of leaves on a walk. Try and find leaves of all sorts of shapes and sizes and pick up any little pine cones, flowers and seeds that you can find too. When you get home, challenge your child to arrange the leaves on a sheet of paper to make an animal.
Let them make their own imaginary animals or monsters if they want to! They might like to use pens, paint or googly eyes to add extra details.
2. Lovely leaf printing
Pour out some paint onto a paper plate (or into little bowls) and ask your child to paint the underside of a leaf – covering every thing, including the stalk. Then ask them to place their leaf, painty side down, onto a sheet of paper and press it firmly. When they lift it off they should see a beautiful leaf print! They can make as many leaf prints as they like. They might want to try using more than one colour on each leaf to see what effects that makes too.
3. Nature crafts for kids – Fork print florals
Printing with forks can make the most beautiful spring flower paintings. Just dip the back of a fork (we used wooden forks) into paint and print on a piece of paper or card. Single fork prints look a bit like tulips. Or a circle of fork prints look like daisies or gerbera! We painted the centres of our flowers and added stalks with green paint too.
4. Swirly whirly sticks
This is a really simple make that little ones will love playing with.
Find some nice sticks on a walk and gather some ribbons (you could also use strips of tissue paper or strips of fabric). Tie them to one end of the stick to make a swirly whirly wand that toddlers can hold. They will have hours of run running about the garden or park waving their swirly sticks and coming up with all sorts of imaginative play.
5. Nature hanging window frames
Give your child a basket or small bag and ask them to gather lots of different leaves and flowers on a walk or from the garden. Cut round pieces of card and punch a hole in the top. Now your child can stick their nature treasures all over the cardboard frame to make a pretty picture. Thread some ribbon or string though the punched hole to hang in front of a window.
6. Nature crafts for kids – Painted pebble friends
Why not let your children paint their own little pebble friends?
They can simply paint them with different colours and patterns (try giving them cotton buds to print dots over a painted background). Or they can make them into rainbows or faces or even animals. You can varnish your pebble friends once the paint is dry by brushing on a coat of watered down PVA glue. This makes them nice and shiny and makes the colours pop.
7. I spy nature walk
Turn a walk into a treasure hunt with these adorable I-Spy Nature Walk printables.
Your toddler can tick off each thing they spot along the way, making an everyday walk much more fun. We’ve made I-Spy sheets for a nature walk as well as a walk along the streets.
Remember making mud pies as a child? It’s just so much fun. Embrace a bit of mess and mud and set up a mud kitchen for your child to explore.
It doesn’t need to be anything fancy. Just pop some bowls, spoons, baking trays, sieves – any kitchen equipment that is either old or can easily be washed – onto a bench or table. Or even just on the path or patio. You could set up bowls of shells, pebbles, grass, flowers and seeds too. Add a bowl of water and a small jug to pour. And let your child make mud pies and potions and squish and stir to their heart’s content.
9. Easy peasy bird feeder
Don’t forget your feathered friends! Little ones will not only love helping you to make and hang bird feeders but will then wait with excitement to spy who comes to visit them.
A really easy way to make a bird feeder is to cut and orange in half and cut out the flesh. Make holes in four sides (at the compass points) with a fat needle and thread one piece of string along one diameter (through the two holes that line up) and one piece of string through the other two holes. Your strings will cross over (as shown in the first photo). Tie the ends of the strings but, for now, keep them hanging down. You can fill your bird feeder with a mix of seed and either lard or peanut butter. Then bring the strings up to the top and hang in the garden.
What’s the difference between baby blues and PND (Postnatal Depression)?
Most mums will have heard the term ‘baby blues’. It’s a stage that up to 80% of mothers go through. But at what point does the baby blues period end? And at what point should mums start to question if it’s PND?
We’ve done some research into what to keep an eye out for if you start to grow concerned. We urge anyone who believes they are struggling with PND to contact a professional or to reach out to a loved one, as they are the ones who will be able to help you through this situation.
What are the baby blues?
Giving birth and welcoming a new baby into the world is supposed to be such a happy event. But in the first few days after birth many new mums feel low in mood, emotional and anxious.
Mums experiencing baby blues might experience:
feeling emotional and bursting into tears for no apparent reason
feeling irritable or touchy
low mood
anxiety and restlessness
All these symptoms are normal and usually only last for a few days. (Source: NHS)
What causes baby blues? After your body has gone through birth your hormones levels drop pretty drastically. According to NCT, your oestrogen levels actually drop more than 100 fold in the first three days after your baby is born.
That chemical decrease as well as the stress of taking your new-born baby home for the first time can be a time of experiencing your most heightened amount of emotions.
What is PND?
Postnatal Depression affects about 1 in every 10 parents, and can occur 2-8 weeks after birth or even up to a year later. Unlike the baby blues, which go away after a few days, symptoms of PND linger. If you feel down or anxious or just not like yourself and it is something that doesn’t go away then it could be PND.
Some of the symptoms of PND can include a persistent low mood, trouble sleeping, withdrawing from other people, and intrusive thoughts. These don’t necessarily occur all at once, but rather tend to develop gradually over time.
The NHS have provided a useful overview of the symptoms of PND:
Emotional signs of postnatal depression may include:
loss of interest in the baby
feelings of hopelessness
not being able to stop crying
feelings of not being able to cope
not being able to enjoy anything
memory loss or being unable to concentrate
excessive anxiety about the baby
Other signs of postnatal depression may also include:
How to tell the difference between PND and baby blues?
PND and baby blues both can leave you feeling run down, emotional, irritable or anxious.
Baby blues, however, will pass within 10 to 14 days after giving birth. As your body begins to recover and your hormone levels return back to normal you should start to feel better and your mood should begin to return back to normal.
PND, on the other hand, doesn’t have a set time period and you don’t necessarily “just get over it”. It can last for months, and can become a long-term problem if left untreated. It’s a myth that PND is only hormonal based. It has a lot of different contributors. PND can also affect 1 in 10 fathers, which indicates fairly clearly that it’s not just a hormonal-based illness.
If you feel persistently low, irritable, struggle to sleep and yet have a lack of energy, and have other symptoms listed here, then you should consider seeking out help.
Where to seek help
PND and baby blues both are difficult to go through. They can be scary to experience at times, and the rose-coloured glasses we wore when approaching parenthood can start to slip when we experience them. For all the love and care we hold for our children, baby blues and PND are unfortunately something out of our control.
However, one of the best things you can do to help pull yourself through it is to reach out and talk about it with your support system (your family, friends, or midwife). The best first step is to start a conversation about it. And to seek help and support.
We have a PND Support page with useful resources for you to look through including charities like PANDAS and APNI, and we strongly recommend you to contact your GP and tell them about how you are feeling. If you start to experience suicidal thoughts, or have frightening thoughts about hurting your baby, then contact 111. And if you think that there’s a danger of you putting yourself or a loved one in danger, contact 999 immediately.
Remember: you don’t need to suffer alone through this. There are people, charities, and loved ones who are willing to listen and help. There is a way out. And you will get better.
Stay safe, and please reach out.
Disclaimer: We have researched and included robust sources to provide information in this article. However, we are not health or medical professionals and you should always seek medical advice if you are worried about you, your partner’s or your baby’s health.
Chapter three of the Diary of a First Time Dad as our head of growth Stuart recalls the drama of the appearance of his baby’s first teeth!
He thought he knew what was coming. Oh – how wrong he was!
Swallow the frog!
I sit here writing this at the tail-end of three storms to hit the UK in the past few days, which felt appropriate for the storm inside my house as my 11 month old daughter went from having four teeth to eight teeth in the space of a week or so. To be fair, this sprouting of new fangs hasn’t been too traumatic for her or for us – it’s not our first rodeo – but that wasn’t always the case. Watching the winds howling outside my window my mind wandered back (you can imagine your own movie special effect to represent this here if you like) to a darker, more challenging past.
When I was a (much) younger man I got some really good advice from a work mentor which was to swallow the frog first. The idea being that if you have something unpleasant to do in a day, don’t avoid it but do it first, so it is out of the way and not hanging over your head all day. So in that spirit I’ll get the real horror out of the way early on in this blog series. The one that still haunts me, inducing a thousand-yard stare when it is mentioned. My baby’s first teeth. I almost shuddered when typing that.
In my naive state I had thought from half-remembered conversations that I knew what was coming, with the baby’s first teeth. Slightly grumpy baby, bit of fever, adorable rosy cheeks, bit of Calpol and job done.
No. No, no no. Job not done. Job very far from done. We saw the early signs – rubbing ears, baby a bit grumpy, drooling a little more than usual and chewing things with a focused ferocity. Mentally I resigned myself to a few bumpy days, but we’d soon be in the clear and back to lovely days with a cheery little piglet, only one with some adorable little bunny teeth. The click of a camera shutter and my Instagram feed filled with toothy smiles.
Hmmm. Not so fast, Bucko.
Baby’s first teeth – Riding the rollercoaster
What followed was a two-week rollercoaster of screaming and tears (hers and ours. Mostly mine if I’m honest), panicked calls to 111 to check there wasn’t something worse afoot, buying shares in the companies which make Calpol and teething powder and drool. So, so much drool. That was a period of heavy activity by the washing machine – minimum 6 bibs, 4 muslins and a few new outfits per day. And the nappies…. If anyone reading this has been told to fear the weaning nappies just as I had been (spoiler alert – really not that bad, so don’t believe the hype), it’s the teething ones you should prepare yourselves for. I’ve got a pretty strong stomach but my appetite took a real dive in that time.
Razor sharp rabbit teeth
But, with time we did get through it. These things too shall pass. The rewards were mixed. The little rabbit teeth which appeared were undoubtedly adorable, and the sense of relief at the end of the screaming was palpable, like at the end of a cheesy disaster movie when the hero has saved the day and the sun finally rises once again. But now my formerly unarmed baby had two razor sharp weapons and she wasn’t afraid to use them. No more the cute gumming away at a nearby finger, now was the time of sinking her teeth in like a particularly peckish hamster. If I can offer any solace, in my experience at least, when the next teeth came through, it was far less traumatic – a pattern that I hope continues throughout the rest of the teething. But those first teeth; they will never be forgotten.
Overall scores for teething
Cuteness. Hmm, I’ll give this 2/10 for the little rabbit teeth once they emerged but the rest of the process had little to recommend it. I grimly recall seeing myself in the mirror a few times during the worst of it and I looked… haunted.
Divisiveness. Again, a lowish score here. 3/10. Teething is something we get through, rather than pick a tribe or side. The most contentious part seemed to be whether to be reactive with the Calpol or carry out pre-emptive strikes. In the fog of war I can’t recall what we picked. Just that we survived, somewhat bloodied but relatively unbowed.
Terror. No question, 10/10. I am sorely tempted to show my age, embrace the spirit of Spinal Tap and turn this up to 11. One louder. Teething made one of those SAS training camp-type TV programmes look like a pleasant stroll in the park.
They admitted me to hospital and after five days of consistent bleeding, I went in for an emergency C-section for a premature birth
They told me during the surgery that I had suffered a placental abruption.
Meraymi Ibrahim
Meraymi Ibrahim shares with us her experiences of giving birth to her son, Matteo, prematurely. Read on to find out more about her parenting journey, and find out where you can find support if you are dealing with a similar situation.
Trigger Warning: This blog contains sensitive topics that may be triggering for others. Please read with caution and any necessary discretion needed.
I was immensely happy when I found out I was pregnant
Me and my husband didn’t have to try for very long and for this I consider myself lucky. I am aware how difficult it can be for some couples, so we were truly grateful. I was so excited through every stage of the pregnancy. From finding out we were having a boy, to thinking of names, all the funny symptoms, changes your body go through and even the weird cravings. I enjoyed and loved every second of it.
Sometimes I would wake in the night and feel my baby move around inside me. It was the best feeling. I felt so safe with my little being inside me. It was a glorious relationship and magic to bond with. I never felt anxious or alone.
But things took a turn when my little baby stopped moving so much. The night time movements slowed right down and I really had to poke him persistently to get him to jolt.
They always emphasise to take action when this happens and thank goodness I did. I was referred for a scan at 30 weeks and it was confirmed that he hadn’t grown since my 20 week scan. It was concerning.
My waters broke not long after that and I was bleeding. They admitted me to hospital and after five days when the bleeding did not cease I went in for an emergency C-section at only 31 weeks. It was confirmed during the surgery I had suffered a placental abruption.
The truth of what it’s like to have a premature birth
Our little Matteo was born healthy but tiny and was looked after in neonatal by a fantastic team of nurses round the clock. There was so much I didn’t know about premature postnatal care; I felt completely out of my depth, frightened and unprepared. I didn’t even have any nappies or a blanket ready for him on the day he was born.
But despite all that, nothing can prepare you for the heartache of returning home without your baby. You are discharged from the hospital after major surgery, but the trauma of it and also having no baby with you was just unimaginably painful.
I mourned the early end of my pregnancy, made more difficult from not having my son at home with me. I went everyday to the ward with my husband to see our dear little one wired up to machines and tubes.
Eventually, we were encouraged to start changing his nappies. We learned about feeding him. I expressed as much milk as I could. We did skin on skin and everything the doctors said to ensure that he would develop as rapidly as he could so we could take him home.
A premature birth feels like forever… but it’s not.
After four weeks we were finally given the all clear.
He put on enough weight and was feeding consistently to be discharged. We were overjoyed, but it was so daunting. New parent anxiety is real and it was overwhelming on our first day back at home. I am fortunate that during everything, my family was there to support me. I cherish them so much- their help really meant a lot and I cannot imagine how single women or those doing things alone cope. It’s tough enough as it is.
Being able to later reflect on everything is bittersweet.
As parents, me and my partner were able to learn so much about caring for Matteo while he was in neonatal (which goes beyond what you learn in antenatal classes). This is only to be expected when you have a premature birth.
I always feel like there’s so much lost time to make up for, as the beginning of his life was spent in intensive care. I feel like I missed out on so much that a new mum gets to have with her baby during the first days of their life.
While we were over the moon to be able to finally go home as a family and start our new lives, I was also aware that I was still healing from everything. It was crucial for me to be the best I could be. I had to give myself TLC to mentally and physically recover and that takes time. The trauma of the birth and separation from my new-born was a lot to handle.
Thank you so much, PANDAS
One resource that was so helpful was the Pandas Foundation. They are a network of counsellors who have experience in maternity care who are there to listen to parents are going through perinatal and post natal issues.
I called them during my struggle and they were so kind and empathetic. I think it’s important to spread the word of them so more mothers feel like they can reach out. It can be so hard making the first move when you enter parenthood. We tend to accept the hardships around it without question. But it is also completely justifiable to not feel ok for whatever reason. There is no shame in reaching out, even if it is just for some reassurance.
It is almost 4 months now since Matteo has been home and while there has been challenges. He has settled in fantastically. I am glad I spoke to someone when things got tough. No one is invincible but the best thing we can do is support each other and stick together.
If you’d like to share your story we’d love to hear from you. Every family is different and every family has a unique story to tell. We want to hear your story, your challenges and your triumphs so other parents in similar situations can learn, share and realise that they are not alone. Read more about #This Is Family and find out how you can get involved too.
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