What are the best ways to get through the Christmas period as a single parent?
Christmas is a chaotic for every household. With the amount of prep it needs, especially because you want to create a magical atmosphere, it becomes one of the most stressful periods of the year. Which becomes even more stressful when there’s only one of you there to juggle it all.
But don’t worry, we’ve got Jo Middleton from Frolo here to help! Jo Middleton is a single mum of two daughters, and a single Granny, to a four-year-old grandson. Jo works for Frolo, the award-winning single parent community app, helping all kinds of single parents around the world find friendship, support and a sense of belonging.
With a community of single parents on her side, Jo has asked them what they could advise.
The Toughest Part Of Parenting Alone At Christmas
We asked the single parents in the Frolo community about their experiences of parenting alone at Christmas and 78% said they found Christmas a particularly tough time of the year as a single parent. There are a few reasons for this. This year in particular, money is a worry, and a lot of single parents say they feel guilt about not being able to provide as much as they’d like for their kids.
The other big issue is loneliness. This is especially true for co-parents, who typically spend some of the Christmas period without their children and who miss the traditions they had with a partner, pre-divorce or separation.
Even if Christmas feels tough for you this year, there are things that you can do to help it go with a little bit more of a bang, or a gentle pop at least. These are a few of the ideas the Frolo community came up with.
Make Plans – Christmas As A Single Parent
Okay, so this sounds a bit obvious, but if there’s a risk of hitting a slump then it pays to be proactive. If you know you’ve got some time around Christmas without the kids for example, decide how you want to fill it rather than just leaving it empty and ending up feeling lonely.
Make plans to catch up with friends, get that haircut you need, book in an exercise class maybe. Or even just make a plan to spend an afternoon wrapping presents while you watch Love Actually and drink sherry. It doesn’t matter how simple they are, the fact of knowing you have a planned way to fill your time can be hugely comforting.
‘I never have my kids on Christmas Eve during the day. But I’ve turned it into a special time for me where I get tidied up, lay all the presents out under the tree and bake Christmas treats for when they get home while listening to carols. It’s turned into one of my favourite bits about Christmas!’
Lisa
Let Go Of The Guilt
We promise you that when your kids are a bit older and you reminisce about Christmases past, they won’t remember how big the tree was or what specific gifts they got, they’ll remember how Christmas made them FEEL.
The most important gift that you can give your kids is your love, as cheesy as this sounds it’s true. You are enough for them, no matter if their stockings are full of the latest gadgets or just new pants and socks and a toothbrush. (We all do this right? Stockings are all about the essentials!)
‘I actually tested this last Christmas. I asked my kids what their favourite bits were about the Christmas before. Neither of them mentioned the gifts – their best bits were that I let them bring chocolate muffins into my bed in the morning to eat while we opened our stockings and the walk we did around our local woods on Boxing Day where we collected sticks and then had a mini bonfire in the garden to toast marshmallows when we got home.’
Simon
Join A Frolo Meetup
The Frolo app was designed by newly single mum Zoe Desmond as a way to help single parents connect and support each other and it’s become a thriving community of thousands of people. Head to the Meetups section of the app and you can find Virtual events hosted by Frolo as well as listings from community members looking to make new friends in their area.
‘I was so nervous the first time I went to a Frolo Meetup a couple of Christmases ago. But it was just one of the best decisions! Another frolo had posted on the Frolo app that they were going ice skating with their kids and would love for other single parents to join them, and I went for it. Not only did I have a brilliant time getting to talk to another grown-up, but our kids got on really well too and we’ve become really good friends. We hang out together loads, with kids and without. I’m so glad I took the plunge.’
Janey
Create New Traditions
If you’re a single parent because you’ve been through a divorce, separation or loss then one of the toughest things about Christmas is the constant reminders of all the things you used to do as a family. Rather than trying to relive the same old patterns, you can decide to scrap them and create brand new traditions instead.
Maybe you’ve always loved the idea of going and choosing your own Christmas tree from a farm but your ex always wanted artificial? Perhaps you and the kids love cheesy Christmas movies and decide to hold an annual movie duvet day complete with hot chocolate and a tin of Roses? Whatever they are, these new rituals can help to create a sense of stability, giving your new family structure roots.
‘My ex was very firm on when the ‘right’ time was to put up and take down a Christmas tree. And although Christmas was always lovely at home, I always wished we could have the tree up for longer! Now the kids and I just go for it. We put our tree up around mid-November, decorate it with the cheesiest decorations we can find, and leave it up as long as we want! During one of the Covid Christmases we kept it up until February!’
Whatever you’re up to this Christmas, (and however long you keep your tree up for…), we hope you have a brilliant time. Don’t forget there’s a community of single parents on the Frolo app just waiting to offer festive friendship and support.
Want to get out and about, have fun with your baby or toddler, and meet other parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
Plastics are known for their durability and versatility! They are a huge feature in our everyday lives. But, as we know, plastic waste contaminates our oceans, harms wildlife, and can even find its way back into our food. Yuck! Plastics can release harmful chemicals such as phthalates and bisphenol A (BPA) that can be especially concerning if we have little ones in our care.
Here are some great ways that you can reduce your plastic consumption at home to help protect the environment and your family’s well being.
Practical Steps to a Plastic-Free Home
Start small with single-use plastics
Have a look at the single-use plastic items that you sometimes use, like disposable cutlery, plates, and wipes. Try reusable alternatives. Stainless steel or glass containers are great options, because they can be washed and reused. Instead of single-use wipes, why not try a multi-purpose cloth from Seep?
You can get 15% off the entire Seep range using this link. Offer ends 31st Dec 2023.
Ditch plastic packaging
Try buying fresh, unpackaged food where possible. Many shops will now offer alternatives to plastic packaging, such as paper or reusable cloth bags. Additionally, consider buying in bulk to reduce the amount of plastic packaging that enters your home.
Invest in reusable bags and containers
Make it a habit to carry reusable bags for shopping. Keep some in the car and tuck one into your little one’s nappy changing bag for any impromptu shopping trips. Invest in glass or stainless-steel containers for storing food. Not only will this reduce your reliance on plastic, but it will also help keep your kitchen organised!
Choose sustainable toys and baby products
When you’re shopping for toys and baby products for your little one, consider items made from natural materials, like wood. Avoid plastic toys that may contain harmful chemicals, and look for eco-friendly alternatives.
Plastic-free cleaning products
Many cleaning products come in plastic packaging or contain harsh chemicals. Instead you could try using eco-cleaning tools from brands like Seep. Tools like their sponge scourer will completely break down in your compost bin once you’ve finished using them.
Educate and involve your family
Make reducing plastic a family effort! Educate your older children about the environmental impact of plastic and encourage them to choose more sustainable options. If you have young children, help them to understand the plastic problem by dropping it into conversation. Instilling this issue in them from a young age can help them grow to understand it better in the future.
Reducing plastic in your home is not just about making a positive impact on the environment; it’s also about safeguarding the health of your family. Hopefully some of the above steps can help you create a home that is free from harmful plastics!
Real Reviews are from parents who have tested baby products in the real world with their own child/children. This Real Review was written by Camilla, a North London based mum of one. She enjoys attending baby groups and activities, and loves to meet up with other like-minded parents. She navigates the highs and lows of parenting with a sense of humour, and sometimes beer! Camilla has been using the BABYZEN Yoyo for 17 months.
When considering which buggy to buy, there are several important factors to consider. Will you frequently use public transport with it? What size is your living space? Is your building accessible? What kind of terrain will it mainly be used on? Will you be flying with it? With so many options on the market, asking yourself these questions is crucial to finding the right buggy for you.
Having gone through this list of questions myself, I chose the BABYZEN Yoyo.
Pros and cons of the BABYZEN Yoyo Buggy
Pros
Incredibly lightweight
Compact design
Smooth maneuverability
Con
Compact wheels make it unsuitable for rough terrain
What’s great about BABYZEN’s Yoyo Buggy?
It’s exceptionally lightweight, so I can just about carry it up a flight of stairs with my one-year-old inside. The buggy’s small and sleek size make it ideal for our tiny London flat, where it tucks away neatly by the side of the sofa. When out, it feels smooth and easy to steer, and pushing it one-handed is easy.
Maneuverability is good. It sweeps around corners and fits through smaller spaces with ease. It’s ideal for shopping trips as it can fit where larger buggies can’t, and it comfortably fits down the walkway of trains. There is ample room for baby essentials in the underneath storage as well as room for a bit of shopping, and the zip-up pocket on the back is a good place to store keys and a phone. Being able to customise it with various colour packs is a nice touch too.
What could be improved?
On the downside, the little buggy wheels, which make it so light and sleek, struggle on rough terrain, meaning this is not the buggy for country walks. If the wheels hit an uneven surface, they sometimes shudder until you slow down and steer briefly in the opposite direction. It’s not as robust as other buggies may be.
My BABYZEN already has some visible wear to the fabric canopy from six months worth of daily use.
And then we come to the price. It’s expensive. Buggies are expensive. But the BABYZEN doesn’t include the essentials, such as a rain cover, so you may find yourself spending an extra few hundred pounds to buy add-ons that other buggies come with.
I found my daughter’s posture in the buggy to be slumped. There are a few options for the seat’s level; however, it doesn’t go completely upright or down, meaning your child is always at an angle. I now have it at full angle forward, and I bought the leg rest (at an additional £30) to see if this would help balance her out. It has helped a bit, but I wish the seat went further upright.
One of the main selling points of this buggy is how quick and easy it is to fold up, and then how small it is when folded. Yes, it’s relatively small when folded, and it does fit in an airplane overhead storage (tried and tested on a Ryanair flight), but no, you cannot smoothly and quickly fold it with one hand and a couple of clicks. It’s stubborn, and I’ve often found myself turning it upside down to reach the button and lever to fold it up. But, with practice, it becomes easier.
Review Summary of the BABYZEN Yoyo
Overall, I would recommend the BABYZEN Yoyo to a friend as a good and easy-to-manoevure option for city parents.
For great prices on BABYZEN Yoyo Amazon.co.uk is always a good place to get a benchmark on pricing.
This is a genuine recommendation, and not sponsored or generating commission.
Going back to work after parental leave is different for everyone. Some people are eager to get back to their jobs and have a sense of routine and normality again, and some people are nervous about the change. Both are valid to feel, and everyone has their own journey with it.
But, no matter how you feel about returning to work, there are just a few things to know that can help you in the long run. Whether that’s help for your mental health, or figuring out your rights. Here are some places you can go to for support.
Your Rights: When Returning To Work
You have certain legal rights when returning from parental leave. It works the same for adoption leave. Such as being able to return to the same job or one that is reasonably similar, on the same or better pay as before you went on leave. You also have a right to make a flexible working request. This means asking to change your hours, such as reducing hours or requesting to work remotely. The Citizens Advice Bureau has some more details here.
Your Rights: If You Are Breastfeeding
Employers need to support you if you decide to carry on breastfeeding once you return to work. Going back to work does not mean you have to stop breastfeeding if you don’t want to. You could express milk to give to your childcare provider/ whoever is looking after your baby. Or request flexible working to make breastfeeding easier.
The NHS website has lots of useful information about returning to work and breastfeeding
Something To Think About: Childcare
Childcare is a big thing to think about and will make everything a lot easier for you, knowing you have plans sorted. This might mean finding a nursery place for your baby, or a place with a childminder. You might have family members who can look after your baby or a mixture of both. Even if you are working from home, you still need to have childcare. Some nurseries or childminders have waiting lists, so it is good to make enquiries as soon as you can.
You might be eligible for tax-free childcare. This means for every £8 you spend on your registered childcare provider, the government will pay £2. This can be very useful! You can check this through the gov.uk website.
Also, children of certain ages from eligible families can get a certain number of hours of childcare for free. Find out more here
If You Are Nervous About Going Back To Work
It is completely normal to feel nervous about returning to work. Try not to beat yourself up or listen to firmly to the intrusive thoughts that are coming your way.
The best thing to do is to talk to your manager about any concerns you may have before you return to work. They’ll be able to reassure you or provide answers to any questions you have.
It may also be a good idea to use your keep-in-touch days, known as KIT days, to get you back into work gently. Sometimes it can seem more daunting than it really is. Although big changes can be worrying, a lot of people find it helpful to have their work as a way of having a good work-life balance. It may offer you some time where you can take off your mum-hat and have your own identity.
What If You Decide Not To Go Back To Work?
Some people decide to delay their return to work, either to be a stay-at-home parent permanently. Or maybe just to take a bit of a longer career break. Looking after a little one can be a job in itself, so for some parents, the idea of staying at home through those crucial early years has a lot of appeal.
But, there are a few things to consider before you take that jump. It’s good to note that any extra time off is usually unpaid, so if you decide not to return to work this will affect your family in a few ways. You will need to consider your finances – can you afford to stop earning? Whether you are a single parent or have a partner who works, you will need to look at the numbers. It’s also good to think about the sort of work that you do. Will you be able to return in the future if you want to? Or maybe move into a similar job if you want to return to work one day?
Don’t make an impulsive decision on this one, take some time to think out all the answers.
Considering A Change Of Career
For a lot of people having a baby changes your life dramatically. This may mean your priorities change or your perspective changes. You may want to try something new. Or maybe you want to reduce your hours at your old job allowing you to try out a new role or a new venture.
If You Need Extra Support
Depending on your personal experience, there may be other factors that mean you need extra support. If you have had experience of PND, or a bereavement, or simply not spending much time with adults. It may be that you’ve had a career break for quite a few years and are nervous about the change. These things may have knocked your confidence. It is good to talk to friends and family who know you well, and it also may be helpful to look into counselling. It can be very helpful to talk through your worries with someone.
If you’re looking for support, but don’t know who to turn to, head over to our Mental Wellness & PND Support page. We’ve written up resources and sourced out charities that are ideal for you as
One Mum’s Story- Regaining Confidence
Helen Holding, Growth Marketing Assistant for Team Happity, shares her experience about going back to work:
I was excited to start my maternity leave. Although I enjoyed my job I was really looking forward to starting a new chapter. I loved having my baby girl. Three months into my maternity leave, my mum died very suddenly, and this came as a complete shock. We were very close. For a while, I did not think I’d be able to go back to work as I found the bereavement very difficult. But towards the end of my time off I started to think about other jobs I could do. I wanted to do something that I felt really helped people.
Luckily I was able to find a role that involves helping new families overcome loneliness at Team Happity. I feel that my experience can help others. My mum was a very positive person so I feel I am carrying on that positivity! Having a change in career was the best move for me, as it meant starting something new that I really enjoy, and I still really love my time with my baby, so I feel I have the best of both worlds. Working part-time means I can still enjoy our baby classes on my days off or at weekends which means a lot to me.
Only You Know What Is Best For Your Family
Only you know what is best for your family, so it is best to look at all the different options and decide what suits you. Every family is different and everyone’s career is different. What works for one family may not work for another, so do not feel you need to follow the exact same path as your friends. Then you’ll know you have made the best decision for you and your family.
Want to get out and about, have fun with your baby or toddler, and meet other parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
Introducing a new sibling can be an exciting time. But it can also be a difficult time of transition for young children as they adapt to this big change in their lives. For this reason, planning and thinking about how you can support your child with the arrival of a new sibling will take a little bit of time and consideration.
Every child is different and all children will cope and manage with life’s changes in a different way. But all will need some support.
We’re joined by guest expert Julie Pearson (Early Years Development Manager at the Early Years Alliance), to help you to explore how you can help your child with this change, sharing tips and ideas that you can easily use in the home.
Using Books And Stories
Sharing books can be a good way to talk about the arrival of a new baby, and there are some great books available, such as:
I’m big now – by Anthea Simmons
My sister is an alien – by Rachel Bright
The new small person – by Lauren Child
Why not snuggle up and share a story, allow your child time to ask questions. This will also be some great one-to-one time with your child. You could also spend some time looking at photographs of your child when they were a baby and share stories about when they were younger. Talking about what they were like as babies will remind them that they were once tiny too.
Get Them Involved
Young children love to help, so try to think of ways to get them involved. This might include bringing you baby wipes, reading the baby a story or even singing nursery rhymes. You can use a baby doll or teddy to practice with before the baby arrives or get involved in role play pretending to change the baby’s nappy or take them for a walk. This will help your child to become familiar with what might happen when the baby is born.
Manage Expectations Carefully
While, as adults, we talk about the arrival of a new baby as being exciting, for a child, it may not feel quite the same way. So talk to them about what to expect. For example, how the baby will cry. This way, they understand what might happen when the baby comes home.
Think About The Little Changes
The arrival of a new sibling might mean some changes in the home. For example, your older child may be moving out of the nursery and into a different room, or changing from a cot into a bed. When making these adaptions, make sure they are done gradually. And try to avoid mentioning the baby when implementing these changes. You don’t want your older child to feel like they are being replaced.
Talk To Your Child’s Key Person
If your older child attends an early education setting, speak to their key person (the named individual responsible for your child). When helping children with big changes, everyone must be on the same page. This way, your child can feel safe and supported.
When The Baby Arrives
It is useful to spend some time considering how you will manage the first time they meet their new brother or sister. You may have been separated for a while when the baby is born. When they come to visit, try to have your arms free with baby in their cot, for example. This way you are ready to embrace your older child with a big hug before introducing them to their new sibling.
Finally, remember it might take some time for your child to adjust after introducing a new sibling, so follow your child’s lead and go at their pace.
For more FREE information, advice and tips on supporting your child’s early learning and development, visit the Early Years Alliance’s Family corner website. Family Corner is the family arm of the Early Years Alliance, offering expert articles, activity ideas and online learning sessions on key areas of child development such as learning through play, communication, behaviour, health, nutrition and wellbeing.
Want To Get Out And About, Have Fun With Your Baby Or Toddler, And Meet Other Parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
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