Often when people think of parental separation anxiety, they picture a small child clutching onto their parent’s leg for dear life on their first day of nursery.
Parental Separation anxiety isn’t just hard on the little one’s though, it can be hard for you too.
Today we’re joined by Nimble, a baby-safe and planet-friendly cleaning brand, who are here to offer their tips and help on the subject.
When you’re finally in the swing of things, and life throws you another curve ball.
Did you know that when a baby orca is born, they can go a whole month without sleeping? Scientists are baffled by this finding and I’m sure any new parent would be horrified by the concept of their little one avoiding sleep for so long. Where the mother orca would usually rest for around 5-8 hours a day, she must learn to function without. I’m sure any parent reading is well aware of how much attention a baby needs in the early days of parenthood.
Babies don’t know anything when they are born, the same way cheetahs are born without survival skills. Mother Cheetah must teach them how to hunt until they are big and strong enough to try it alone. A cheetah, one of the world’s most skilled predators is simply guided by their mum, they wouldn’t make it, without a parent to show them how.
So how do you cope when your baby doesn’t rely on you to fulfil their every need?
When it’s time for them to venture out to playgroup or nursery? Maybe you’re a mum who is coming to the end of her maternity leave. Every day has been about your baby. You’ve been there for every one of their firsts.
It’s stressful, you’ve finally got the hang of this whole parenting thing, and now you must trust another caregiver with your child.
Parental Separation Anxiety refers to the strong and overwhelming feelings that arise due to the proposed or real absence of a child. Although this absence may only be for a few hours a day, in some cases, it can be incredibly stressful for parents to navigate the lack of control that comes with trusting another caregiver.
The worrying never really stops, you never stop swimming behind your child. You come up for air to answer an email, or go for a drink with an old friend, a run maybe (if you have the energy after chasing a toddler all hours of the day), but you never truly stop worrying about your baby, no matter how big they grow.
That’s where we step in. We at Nimble want to help you navigate all aspects of parenthood. And that means recognising that it’s not always easy to loosen your grip on your little one.
WIN A YEAR’S SUPPLY OF NIMBLE CLEANING PRODUCTS We’re beyond excited that Nimble are our partner brand for May. Which means, everytime you book a class on Happity, you’ll be entered with a chance to win a year’s supply. Find out more here
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
First things first, your feelings are valid.
From the moment your baby is born, you are their everything. It makes sense that spending time away from the person who has become your entire world might prove difficult.
There is no shame in struggling to come to terms with such a big change. The first step is acknowledging your feelings so that you can begin to explore different ways to move through what you are experiencing.
Imagine if it was your child who was having a hard time adjusting to any type of new routine. Would you think any less of them for struggling? Or would you gently validate their experience while compassionately guiding them through it?
It’s the latter, right?
Before deciding how to cope, practise a little self-compassion. Be as kind to yourself as you would your child. Then once the self-judgement has dissipated slightly, there will be space in your brain to fill it with much nicer things
2. Rediscover Your Sense of Self
Reframing your feelings is key to tackling this next chapter of your life. Even though it might not feel like it right away, there’s so much self-discovery right in front of you. Take a trip down memory lane. What did you enjoy before you were a parent? I know, it feels like a lifetime ago. But you are still you. And to wholeheartedly show up for your child, you need to be able to meet your own needs too.
What do you care about? What gets your brain ticking? If you were at a dinner party, what would be the topic that could get you talking for hours?
If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay. It’s common for parents to slightly lose their sense of self when putting all their energy into parenting. And it’s a loving thing you’ve done for your child. But now you have the time, it’s time to rediscover the things you love. The things that make you You.
You could start small. Read that book you always wanted to know the ending to, try a new recipe that the kids would never eat, sit quietly in the garden and notice how intricately diverse and beautiful nature is.
Slowly, when time away from your little one feels less daunting, you could build yourself up and have a go at something completely new. Have a look at local clubs, and try something you have never done before. Either you try Zumba and you hate it and never return, or it reminds you of the energetic child inside you that you might’ve forgotten about.
Spending intentional time with yourself will eventually feel a lot easier. And don’t worry, you don’t have to try Zumba. But putting time and energy into your beliefs, desires and needs will strengthen your relationship with yourself and help you throughout your parenting journey.
3. Community and Connection
It’s easy to forget sometimes when wrapped up in the daily reality of parenthood. But you are not alone. A big part of reconnecting with yourself is reconnecting with the people around you. If you parent with a partner, open up to them about the anxiety you are experiencing. This could lead to a conversation where you feel seen and understood. You may discover they are feeling similar things, or you may feel lighter having reached out for support. This applies to any type of connection.
Reaching out to friends or family could help you discover a whole network of support you might’ve forgotten about. It also develops your adult relationships and hopefully reminds you that yes, you are a parent (an exceptional one) but you are also a person, with an identity as diverse as the intricate nature that surrounds you.
Find a community ready to support you through this journey.
Let this community be the crutch that holds you up. Let us at Nimble aid you in your journey through parenthood. If you’re a new mum or dad who can’t just pick up the phone and ask for help, have a flick through our blog.
It’s full of helpful tips for new parents, and you can take from that whatever works for you. Because here at Nimble, we care. We really do. With all the worry you’re currently coping with, Nimble products can hopefully lighten your load both emotionally and practically. Our products work every time, there’s no adjustment needed so no more routines will be disrupted. And they are made from natural products that will be safe for your little one. We’ve got the practicalities sorted. You focus on yourself and your family and the rest will follow.
And remember, your little one will always need you.
I’m sure many adults can relate to the feeling of needing a parental figure’s guidance and how it never really fades. Whether that shows up when calling mum to ask how long to leave the casserole she used to make in the slow cooker, or how on earth to get the baby to settle. Ringing Dad because you have no idea what the best broadband network is or because the mould in the bathroom has come back- again.
A friend told me she rings her dad to ask him for advice on what plays to go and see because he reads the reviews in the paper. I think that’s a beautiful thing. He’s doing the slightly mundane part she doesn’t enjoy, so that she can go and experience the art that she loves.
It shows that parenting never stops. It changes, it ebbs, and it flows- but it never stops.
Unleash Joy In Every Moment – Nimble
Introducing Nimble, the UK’s award-winning child-friendly, laundry and cleaning brand, designed with parents’ needs in mind. British-made, the plant-based product range provides worry-free, effective cleaning for busy and anxious parents, navigating their way through the joyful chaos of parenthood. Fully vegan and fully biodegradable, Nimble products are safe for the family and the planet.
Disclaimer: Nimble are our partner brand for May 2024. This partnership will help us in our goal of connecting more parents with classes and to help find support near them.
Want to get out and about, have fun with your baby or toddler, and meet other parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
I had to make the heart-breaking decision to close my business down due to my health. The more time I spent at home in my “safe place”, the harder it was to leave the house. I look back now thinking: how on earth did I get through it?
Karen from Tots Playtime Boxshares her story on getting out and about after a traumatic birth, read on to learn her tips and advice.
Picture this, it’s 2019, pre-covid and the world is “normal”. I was going on maternity leave from my business (Children’s music and movement classes) to have my 2nd daughter and I was only planning to have 3 months off, then get straight back to work. I honestly thought I would “bounce back” but I had no idea life was about to throw me not one but two curve balls and I didn’t bounce back after giving birth at all. Instead, I crumbled and couldn’t leave the house.
A Traumatic Birth & Postnatal PTSD
The birth of my 2nd daughter was traumatic, to say the least. A Shoulder Dystocia birth meant her shoulder got stuck behind my pelvis, resulting in a torture-like manoeuvre to get her out quickly. Unfortunately, this was not without damage and I suffered a 3rd degree tear which left me housebound. I had difficulties walking and I was in daily pain until corrective surgery 2.5 years later. I have also been left with lifelong bowel and bladder urgency which added extra stress to leaving the house!
Understandably, I struggled to adjust to all the changes happening. Grieving for the functioning body I no longer had, missing the business that made me feel like more than a “just” a mummy whilst battling flashbacks, sleep deprivation and anxiety meant I was a wreck! After seeking help, I was diagnosed with Postnatal PTSD at 4 months post-partum.
Being Housebound As A New Mum
I was physically housebound for 3 months but my PTSD meant I rarely left the house after that. Leaving the house was a battle and soon became something I dreaded. “What if someone asks me about my birth and it triggers a panic attack?”, “What if one of the girls starts crying and screaming and I can’t cope?”, or “What if I can’t get to a toilet in time?” were just a few of the anxious worries I was plagued with at the thought of leaving the house. It felt easier to just stay at home.
Not only was that enough to deal with but 10 months after Isla was born, we went into lockdown due to the pandemic, once covid hit we had to stay in. Leaving the house wasn’t an option anymore, I rarely left the house for 3 years!
I lost all of the valuable physical and emotional support from family and friends. I also had to deal with the delays to my medical appointments and surgery, plus I had to make the heartbreaking decision to close my business down due to my health. The more time I spent at home in my “safe place”, the harder it was to leave the house. I look back now thinking: how on earth did I get through it?
However, I did! I am now living a normal life, gallivanting here, there and everywhere with my family and friends. Those years stuck at home are now a distant memory.
Tips To Help
It wasn’t without lots of hard work to get myself back out and it has taken 4 years but taking baby steps with each day at a time made it feel more achievable to start getting out again. If you have been struggling to leave the house since having your little one, here are my 5 tips to help you slowly build up your confidence to get out and about again and it’s exactly what I did.
1. Be Honest
Confide in family and friends, be honest about how hard leaving the house is and ask them for support. I found it hard admitting that I was struggling but having a select few close family and friends understand how I was feeling really helped me start to navigate leaving the house with their help.
2. Do Something For You
Make yourself a priority, and take time in your day or week to do something that you enjoy and is just for you. It could be learning a new skill or taking time for one of your hobbies, just make sure it allows you to not have to think about being “mummy” and the never-ending list of jobs we have to do.
I invested every spare bit of energy I had in myself, hours of therapy plus I found something to focus on and light me up again. On top of that, I started another business that didn’t matter that my body wasn’t as strong as it used to be and I poured my heart and soul into it. I love being creative and designing fun activities for Tot’s Playtime Box has been a big help in me finding myself again.
3. Go For A Walk
Thinking baby steps, make one of your first goals to getting out and about again be “‘go for a walk”. The fresh air does wonders for your mental health and for your little one too. Pop your little one in the pushchair and go for a little stroll down the road. It doesn’t have to be far at first but aim to get out every day. If you have a toddler then turn your walk into a game and see how many items you can spot whilst out or the different noises you can make when tapping a stick on different objects as you walk.
4. Meet A Friend
Once you get used to going out for a walk, the next step is to meet a friend. Preferably one you have confided in and can support you. You could start off going to their house then move on to meeting them at the park and then maybe join them at a baby & toddler group or class. Having someone with you to share the load when out makes it a lot less overwhelming.
5. Be Kind To Yourself
It’s so easy to be hard on yourself when you are struggling to leave the house. Sometimes it makes you feel pathetic or that you are overreacting but birthing a baby is tough on your body and mind. It takes 9 months to grow a baby and is going to take a few months to adjust after giving birth. Honestly, your hormones make everything harder. Make sure you rest when you can and if it’s too much to get out one day don’t beat yourself up, just try again the next day.
Moving Forward
Life isn’t always easy, you can’t always bounce back but keep going. Take baby steps to keep pushing through and it will get better!
4 years on, I am finally feeling like me (although a slightly adjusted version). My passion for my new business matches my first. I am back in the gym and my body gets stronger every day. I rarely suffer with my PTSD and I have my zest for life back!
Support & Advice
If you feel you need more support or would benefit from talking therapies, please reach out to your local health visitor or your NHS Wellbeing Service (If you have a baby under 12 months you get fast tracked).
Written by Karen Sidell, mummy of 2 girls from Norfolk and a small business owner.
Karen Sidell – Tots Playtime Box
Karen is a mum of 2 energetic girls, the founder of Tot’s Playtime Box and an Early Years Play Expert from Norfolk. She knows exactly how to keep the kids happy with fun and easy activities as she has been entertaining them for nearly 20 years and now creates fun and exciting activity cards and books for ‘on the go’ kids.
Pop over to Tot’s Playtime Box website to see Karen’s best-selling I Spy Cards and all the fun activities she has to keep the kids entertained. You can also find her on Instagram – @totsplaytimebox
Would You Like To Share YOUR Story?
We’d love to hear from you. This Is Family is all about sharing family stories – especially from families who feel like their voices are not often heard. Every family has a unique story to tell. We’d love to hear yours. Find out how you can feature on our blog and get involved. So that other parents can feel less alone.
Want To Get Out And About, Have Fun With Your Baby Or Toddler, And Meet Other Parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
“As I sit and watch other mammas either feeding or massaging their beautiful babies a small pinprick of pain alights in my tummy. It makes its way up to my head and it’s a lightbulb moment, a physical lightbulb moment of consciousness. I am lonely.”
We’re joined by Kayleigh Laverick from Mamma Social Co, who shares her story of how she experienced postnatal depression and extreme loneliness in early parenthood. She’s joining us as a part of Maternal Mental Health Week with the hopes that sharing will help others going through a similar situation will feel less alone, and get help if they need it.
Mamma Social Co is a parenting organisation on a mission to combat loneliness and isolation and help mams navigate the curveballs parenthood throws at us. They hold free weekly Talk & Walk sessions to bring parents together outside of the house, bridging the gap between nature and nurture.
Trigger Warning: This blog contains themes that may be triggering for others, including suicidal thoughts. If you need urgent help, please contact 999.
The Moment I Realised I Was On Autopilot
It was a fresh October morning, and here I was, sitting cross-legged on a community centre floor, watching the instructor show me how to stimulate trapped wind from my baby. It’s at this very moment I realise that, for 4 weeks running, Eva has not been awake once for this baby yoga session, and I’ve gone on autopilot.
I look around the room, and I feel nothing. I feel empty. I feel disjointed and disconnected from reality.
What is this feeling?
As I sit and watch other mammas either feeding or massaging their beautiful babies a small pinprick of pain alights in my tummy. It makes its way up to my head and it’s a lightbulb moment, a physical lightbulb moment of consciousness:
I am lonely.
I feel unstimulated, unsatisfied and a little further away from Kayleigh, further away from myself. And I think, as I sit and nurse Eva in the car, what’s the point?
This beautiful baby girl – who has saved me so many times in these first few months of her life – is none the wiser about what and where she is. As long as Mamma is with her, she is happy and satisfied.
It dawns on me: for this family to thrive, Mamma needs to be happy, stimulated and supported. And unfortunately, maternity leave and parenthood are not geared up towards supporting the parents.
Maternity Leave Wasn’t Idyllic (And Not Just For Me)
I drive home and sob thinking about the situation that I am facing. I have been blindly following a pack of parents who are all moving in the same direction. And from my brief conversations with parents, many are not feeling great either. Or, at the very least, not how they expected this fairytale life of maternity leave would feel.
I think before you start maternity leave you have this idealistic vision of what it will be like. The jobs in the house you will finally finish, that you will finally fit into your old jeans, and you will have those coffee dates that we all long for. Whereas the reality is you just don’t have that free time at all.
My Darkest Moment
I pull up to our house and can’t even begin to get out of the car. I feel stuck, frozen in time not knowing how to get through this realisation of reality. I tell myself, ‘don’t go in the house, go for a walk.’
As I strap Eva into her carrier I blindly walk into a beautiful forest out the back of our house, like so many times before this. But this time I feel detached. Fully conscious but not in my body.
I find myself standing on the locally named ‘Red Bridge’ and very matter-of-factly start looking for somewhere to put Eva so that she could be found once I have decided to take my own life. I walk back and forth across the bridge, taking my time to secure her safety. But it dawns on me that there isn’t anywhere at all for her. I take a deep breath, sniff her beautiful head, and decide that I need to go home.
As I shut the door to our home, a switch turns back on and the realisation of what I had very nearly done sank in. I was filled with guilt and so many questions. How could I have left Freddie? Dale? My family? My friends? How do I never put myself in this position again? I can’t walk alone again.
Sending Out A Lifeline On Facebook
I pick up my phone and create a post, raw and real, on how parenting can be rubbish. I say, ‘if you are sick of feeling alone in this, then I will be at this location, at this time, tomorrow’. And I press send.
Anxiety hits! ‘What happens if no one turns up?’ my husband asks after I explain (through a wave of snot and tears) how lonely and isolated I feel. My reply is, I will continue to walk. Who cares if I bared all and no one comes? I hope the post helped someone to feel a little less alone and odd.
In my previous experience, I found that no one wanted to hear about the crap parts of parenthood, the truly raw moments of terror we can find ourselves in. But maybe when we walk, more truthful moments will arise and parents can drop their armour to be authentically themselves.
I wake the next day to the post being shared 25 times, not many comments but a lot of shares and I am excited to see if what I am feeling is felt by others.
I turn the corner and see 9 mammas all looking as frazzled as I am. Instantly, I start to cry with this overwhelming feeling of support and understanding.
The Start Of Something Life-Changing
This moment is when my maternity leave started. I felt like Kayleigh. Not Kayleigh ‘pre-baby Eva’, but Kayleigh 3.0. This woman has lived through something that not many would have, and I feel grateful for it. I’m proud of my bravery to share.
This was when Mamma Social Cowas born. It was no longer a need for me to get well from PTSD and Postnatal Depression, but a communal need to heal. From the first walk, it quickly grew arms and legs of its own. And within no time at all we were recruiting parent-lead volunteers throughout the Northeast and, one year on, nationally. The tribe and community we are continuing to build is brave and parent-focused.
42% of parents identify as isolated in the first years of parenthood and a massive 85% identify as lonely. This is far too high. By creating a parenting organisation that creates events, activities, support, connection and community for all parents: we will combat isolation and loneliness within parenthood one walk at a time.
Become A Parent Lead
Mamma Social Co’s free sessions are facilitated by incredible volunteers across the whole of the UK. These wonderful individuals are called Parent Leads. Starting in the North East of England, they now host sessions as far as Scotland all the way down to Kent.
Parent Leads range from mums with both babies and school-age children. Some run their sessions without their child too! We have franchise owners and business owners who have also come on board to volunteer with us, with some seeing up to a 40% increase in attendees at their own classes.
There are some brilliant charities that you can call (PANDAS and MumsAid just to list a couple). They specialise in specifically helping parents suffering mentally. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, help is available 24 hours a day from the Samaritans by calling 116 123.
Want To Get Out And About, Have Fun With Your Baby Or Toddler, And Meet Other Parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
The kitchen isn’t just for cooking, it can be a great place to get children involved, supporting their learning and development.
It’s easy to think of the kitchen as a room in the house that is for the adults; it’s where we do jobs, feed our family, do the washing up – and it’s not much of a space for children. But it can provide lots of learning opportunities. Children want to be with you and be part of your world, so thinking of ways that they can be involved in the kitchen (such as helping to chop vegetables, finding tins, mixing, measuring, or washing up) can really promote this.
We’re joined by Julie Pearson, an early years development manager at the Early Years Alliance, who is here to offer expert tips and ideas.
Exploring Foods
The kitchen is the perfect place for exploring foods: you can talk about textures and tastes, and children are also more likely to eat a wider variety of foods if they have been part of the process of preparing it. Healthy eating starts young, and so allowing children more variety early on will help them to try new things, have a more varied healthy diet and get used to different tastes and textures in their mouth.
Here’s some ideas to help them explore foods
1. Let Them Prepare Their Own Snacks
Maybe they could chop up some banana for their own snack or tear up some lettuce for a salad at teatime?
Using items such as child-friendly knives and scissors (safely!) supports children’s fine motor control and dexterity, as well as their self-confidence, sense of responsibility, and ability to manage their own safety.
2. Always Make Sure They Are Safe And You Are Supervising
You know your child’s capabilities, so give them tasks that they will enjoy and that will challenge them, but also be aware of what they can manage and safety at all times.
Children should always be supervised in the kitchen and when using equipment and eating food. Think about using a child safety knife or a cutlery knife for chopping rather that sharp kitchen knife. It’s also important to consider how you put safeguards in place from other dangers in the kitchen, such as making sure children don’t go near hot surfaces such as ovens and hobs.
3. “Where Does It Come From?” Educate Your Little Ones
When exploring food, you can talk to children about where food comes from. This is a great way to help them understand the world. Do they know where milk comes from, for example? This could lead on to talking and learning about animals and farms, and help children understand where their food comes from.
4. Look At Packaging And Learn About Recycling
Packaging on food and kitchen products can also help children to learn about ingredients, symbols and about recycling, providing an opportunity to talk about what happens to our bags and bottles and boxes, and how we can make careful choices to help protect our planet.
Getting Involved In Daily Tasks
As well as preparing food together, think about other things that you can do. Involving your child in day-to-day tasks in the kitchen will help you to feel closer and develop the bond between you, which in turn will support children’s sense of belonging and self-confidence, as well as encouraging their communication and ability to make relationships with others.
5. Offer Them Praise (Especially For Effort!)
Allowing children to be a part of activities will help them to become aware of the impact of their actions as well as hearing positive praise. It’s therefore a great way to build their confidence in their own abilities, especially if they feel trusted with an activity and are trying new things.
6. Allow Them To Express Their Emotions
Remember cooking, baking and other tasks don’t always go to plan: sometimes things go wrong, or mistakes are made – and children can begin to recognise a range of emotions in the kitchen, such as frustration, but also patience, pride and a sense of achievement. Naming these emotions as children feel them can help them put words to their feelings as well as begin to manage them.
7. Don’t Take Over When They Make Little Mistakes
It is also important to step back sometimes and allow mistakes to happen. Jumping in to help sometimes means you are taking over. Children need to try for themselves, make a mess and see what happens to be able to practise skills and realise the impact of their actions. Real-life experiences can also support children’s imaginative play as they mimic what they have seen. The more experiences children have, the more they can use their imaginations and further their learning by basing their play off real-life events.
Introducing Mathematics
The kitchen is a good place to introduce early mathematical skills. There are a lot of numbers introduced when cooking. Including:
8. Count Ingredients Together
Counting ingredients or setting the table for the correct number of people.
9. An Introduction To Measurements
You can also introduce measurements by reading recipes and noticing numbers on scales, jugs, or counting spoonfuls. Use everyday activities to introduce mathematical concepts such as ‘half’, ‘full’ and ‘empty’, as well as starting to introduce the concept of time.
10. Learning About Timings
Time can behard to visualise for children so think about how you can support this. Try using visual timetables and timers. Cooking can support this understanding – you might, for example have to wait for 15 minutes for biscuits to be cooked.
11. Have Fun Making Noise!
Finally, why not create a kitchen music band? Children love to make music and you don’t need instruments. You can use pots, pans, jugs, wooden or metal spoons and tins to allow children to explore making different sounds and learn different concepts like fast, slow, loud, quiet, high, low etc. You can also sing songs along with the music and help children learn about rhythm and beats.
Early Years Alliance
For more FREE information, advice and tips on supporting your child’s early learning and development, visit the Early Years Alliance’s Family corner website. Family Corner is the family arm of the Early Years Alliance, offering expert articles, activity ideas and online learning sessions on key areas of child development such as learning through play, communication, behaviour, health, nutrition and wellbeing.
Want To Get Out And About, Have Fun With Your Baby Or Toddler, And Meet Other Parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
Your baby’s first tooth is an exciting milestone. This means it is time to start brushing that tooth (or teeth). While some babies may let you do this, it is very common for your baby to refuse you trying to brush their teeth.
You are not alone if you are struggling with this, most if not all parents go through this.
Let’s look at some tips on how we can keep those little teeth clean!
Have The Right Tools For The Job
Your baby’s first tooth may have appeared when they were about 6 months old, although there is a wide range for when this can happen. At this stage they will need you to clean their teeth for them.
For now it is best to use a little toothbrush that is designed for young babies. These are easier to use than a traditional toothbrush with a handle and bristles. These bristles can easily be chewed off! Some first baby toothbrushes look like little silicone finger puppets, which are easy to use and can help sooth sore gums too during teething.
Another option, if you baby only has a few teeth, is a clean cloth or piece of gauze wrapped around your finger for a little tooth cleaning. It is best to use age appropriate tooth paste (adult toothpaste has too much fluoride in it) but you can buy baby toothpaste at the super market. Look out for tubes that say under 12 months, that is a good place to start.
You can get different flavours of baby toothpaste, such as fruit as well as gentle mint. Maybe get a few flavours to see which your baby enjoys best.
“We tried lots of different toothpaste flavours, and my daughter was particularly into an apple flavour when we first started brushing!”
Helen, Team Happity
Keep Calm And Give It A Go
Make sure both you and your baby are calm and happy when you brush their teeth. If your baby picks up on any stress, that may unsettle them so they are less likely to sit to have their teeth cleaned.
For now, do not worry too much about a thorough clean or full coverage of every tooth. It is just about getting your baby used to having a toothbrush in their mouth and letting you help. Once they are used to it and know what to expect, it is a lot easier.
Have Some Fun
Make it into a game, or choose a toothbrush that looks like something your baby loves. Some first toothbrushes are shaped liked animals or other items (the banana toothbrush is a popular one) which may intrigue your baby into allowing the brush into their mouth. Also combine it with a story about how fun toothbrushing is (there are many fun picture books on this subject, such as “How to Brush Your Teeth with Snappy Croc” by Jane Clarke). Or sing a nice song and make brushing part of that.
We often sing “this is the way we brush our teeth”, with the tune of “here we go round the mulberry bush”
Helen, Team Happity
These two songs, Brush Your Teeth by Super Simple Songs and another from KidsSongs have been very helpful with our kids!
Lisa, Team Happity
If you show your baby toothbrushing is a fun activity, they may show more intertest.
Persevere But Don’t Stress
Even if your baby outright refuses, don’t worry and try again another time. As you are just trying to establish a routine and get your baby used to this gradually, it does not matter if a few toothbrushing sessions are missed in the early days. You can show your baby how you brush your teeth too. As they get old enough to hold the toothbrush themselves they can copy you.
We had a toothbrushing app that sang a song for 2 minutes and they earned different outfits etc for consistent brushing. Mostly though I think it was just having them see us doing it every day as routine – I used to just give them a brush to hold whilst I was brushing my teeth and they would naturally start trying to copy. (Then you can brush their teeth properly after they’ve had a go)
Sara, Team Happity
See What Works For You
Whatever way of toothbrushing works for you baby, we hope these tips helped you. This will hopefully set up a good habit as they get older, but for now we can take it one day and one toothbrush song at a time!
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