Settling down to watch a film featuring a pregnancy before you actually had children, you probably believed a lot of glamorous (and not so glamorous) things about giving birth. If you’re anything like us here at Team Happity, you’ll have picked up lots of top pregnancy ‘tips’ from films and TV shows like Friends. But what did we believe – and are any of them actually true?
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Name a film where the characters actually plan their pregnancy. Can you think of one?* Even in Meet The Parents (2000), an unexpected pregnancy is used as a plot point, while the entire plots of Bridget Jones’ Baby (2016) and Mamma Mia (2008) revolve around not knowing who the father/fathers are.
And what of IVF babies? A shout out to Phoebe in Friends (1994-2004) who actually showed this as being a real thing. Baby Fever (2022) comes up trumps with a pregnancy that is both IVF AND unplanned. According to Netflix, ‘When a fertility doctor drunkenly inseminates herself with her ex-boyfriend’s sperm, she scrambles to explain her pregnancy — and win back her lost love.’ Yes, because that happens all the time, right?!
In What To Expect When You’re Expecting (2012) we do at least have a balance of some people getting pregnant unexpectedly and others wanting to get pregnant but struggling.
*If you can think of one, chances are they will conceive after just one night
“When I was searching for ‘films about pregnancy’, 90% of the films were about an unexpected pregnancy. Media often depicts pregnancy as unplanned/a shock/an inconvenience.” Leanne, Team Happity
Myth #2 That You Must Keep Your Pregnancy A Secret At Work (Except From Your Most-Bosom Friend)
Pregnant women in films not only have a tendency to publicly run out to buy every single pregnancy test in the chemist (see Knocked Up (2007)), but also to confide their suspicions in just one person.
We hope society has moved on enough to not discriminate against pregnant women, particularly in the UK. Awareness of the gender pay gap has really helped. But despite this, Bridget in Bridget Jones’ Baby tries really hard to keep her pregnancy a secret at work from everyone except Miranda.
“There is a whole bit with Bernadette on The Big Bang Theory (2007-2019) finding out she is pregnant and not wanting to announce it to work because she would be treated differently – but it accidentally gets found out.”
– Alex, Team Happity
Myth #3 That Morning Sickness Is In The Morning
So-called morning sickness isn’t all neatly packaged-up so it all happens before 7am/breakfast/midday. Knocked Up, Shameless (Veronica’s mum) and Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018) are culprits here!
Morning sickness and general nausea can happen all round the clock. And thanks to more general awareness and high-profile celebrity cases of extreme morning sickness (hyperemesis gravidarum), we’re definitely seeing more acknowledgement of this too.
Myth #4 That You’ll Achieve So Much In Your Last Trimester
While a lot of pregnant women do go into ‘nesting’ mode and have bursts of energy cooking and cleaning (though the idea of this being hormonally-driven is contested), it’s not uncommon to feel distracted, lacking concentration and generally all over the place during pregnancy. See Bridget Jones’ Baby for examples of both of these.
“I remember I modelled my first pregnancy on Rachel from Friends (1994-2004), mostly because they at least seemed to depict that she didn’t find it all sunshine and rainbows, so I could relate. The amount of TV/film that makes out that pregnancy is this magical, wonderful experience without showing the other side is crazy. Some mothers do feel like that but I know I certainly didn’t. The episode where Rachel’s overdue and insanely grumpy always makes me laugh because that was basically my whole third trimester – “Get out, get out, get out!”
– Becky, Team Happity
“Phoebe eating cereal from a bowl balanced on her baby bump (when she was pregnant with the triplets) always made me laugh. It was the number one thing I wanted to try when I had a bump too.”
– Liz, Team Happity
Myth #5 That You’ll Give Birth Without Even Realising You’re Pregnant
Fans of Eastenders and Hollyoaks in the 1990s will testify that pretty much 100% of pregnancies were secret, and a massive surprise to the mother as well (when the babies actually turned up). Of course this can happen, but it’s not as usual as the soaps would have you believe. If scenes like this from Look Who’s Talking Too (1990) didn’t put you off in the first place, that is!
Check out Juno (2007) for a different take on teenage pregnancy with the lead character debating whether or not to keep her baby, adoption and a contemplation on both the physical and emotional pain.
Myth #6 That You Need To Pack For Hospital Like You’re Going To The Beach For Two Weeks’ Holiday
If you’re actually conscious/compos mentis enough to do a Sudoku puzzle or process this week’s top gardening tips once your cervix is 7-8cm dilated, we applaud you.
“They advise you to pack things like books, magazine and download movies to watch while passing the time while in labour, as though you’re on holiday? 36hrs with my first and I definitely didn’t use any of these from my hospital bag!”
– Jen, Team Happity
Myth #6 That Your Waters Will Break With A Bang (And You Must Hail A Taxi)
If the drama in films and TV shows is to be believed, your waters will break with a gush all over the floor (particularly if you’re out and about doing some last-minute shopping). Passing bystanders will take several step backs (in tandem) and marvel at the miracle of birth. In Sex And The City (2008)Charlotte’s waters break and she immediately tries to hail a cab. In Baby Mama (2008), Angie’s waters also break in the street (and you can guess what happens next). If you’re Bridget Jones, you’ll be carried fireman style through the streets by Colin Firth and that guy from Gray’s Anatomy. Clearly these films missed the NCT/NHS classes which said to ring ahead to the hospital/maternity unit/call your midwife.
But did you know your waters might be just an undramatic trickle or may not even break at all before you go into labour? Check the NHS website here for more signs of labour. Always follow NHS advice on what to do when your waters break and remember it’s usual to go into labour within 24 hours of your waters break (if they break at all before labour).
Here’s a more underplayed portrayal of waters breaking when Amy in Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-2021) goes into labour at the police station and tries to carry on as normal.
“Always makes me laugh how they portray waters breaking in films and programmes – never very realistic!”
For some, it can be. For others, labour can be a day or two, and latent labour can go on for ages. Hurrah for Rachel in Friends here who actually has a 21-hour labour (although she does rush to the hospital as soon as her water breaks and before contractions have started).
Check out The Big Bang Theory for a more realistic portrayal of a nine-months pregnancy, where Bernadette is overdue and her friends try and help her induce labour. Bernadette goes to the hospital too ‘early’ (contractions are 12 minutes apart) and is sent home. She’s told to come back when the contractions are five minutes apart for one hour. Clearly the show’s researchers have done their, well, research on this one.
The Office US (2005-13) takes it even further. Playing on the idea of going to hospital too ‘early’, Pam almost gets there too late! She starts getting contractions while at work but carries on working and tries to push through it.
“I was expecting a big long drawn-out labour or the cliché water breaking somewhere inconvenient and then having immediate labour pains and baby an hour later!”
– Becky, Team Happity
Myth #8 That Births Only Take Place In The Back Of A Car/Side Of The Road/Away From Hospital
In Where The Heart Is (2000), Natalie Portman gives birth in aisle five of a Walmart, while in The Best Man Holiday (2013), Robyn gives birth in a car. Actually just over 2% of births in the UK in 2020 were homebirths while in 2023-24, one in four babies were born by caesarean. There’s a 2021 Lebanese film called C-Section but can you name a mainstream one?
“My final pregnancy did have a bit more movie-style story. An ambulance car blue-lighted us through traffic as I was close to having her in the car, my waters broke in the hospital lift and she was out after a couple of pushes ten minutes after. So that’s a one in three chance for me (as I have three children).”
– Jen, Team Happity
Myth #9 That You Will Be In Labour On Your Back With Your Legs In Stirrups During The Birth
Squatting or kneeling on all fours is far more comfy and productive as it lets you ‘bear down’ using gravity, and helps open the pelvis. And stirrups aren’t as common as they show in the films! In Baby Mama and Knocked Up, for example, they both give birth on their backs.
Give us a good film or TV show with a water birth too. Peep Show (2003-2015) nearly manages it. As well as Sophie often being on all fours instead of her back during labour, she keeps changing her mind about what kind of birth she wants, swapping from birthing pool to epidural, to finally having a C-section.
“I did actually pack my bikini in case we had a water birth (we didn’t – though the midwife got as far as running the bath).”
– Liz, Team Happity
Myth #10 That Your ‘Newborn’ Will Be Massive/An Alien
Contrary to many films and TV shows, your newborn won’t be as huge as you expect! You’re also not going to give birth to an alien, gremlin or similar.
“It always makes me laugh that [in films] two days after the birth the baby is approximately the size of a six-month-old.”
– Lisa, Team Happity
Myth #11 That You Will Feel An Immediate Connection With Your Baby
While for some mothers this is true, some mums are so exhausted/knocked out/tired from labour, that feeling of ‘unconditional love’ may not kick in straight away. So it’s not always the ‘magical moment’ you often get in the films. And don’t worry if you feel like that – your body and mind may just need some sleep first and time to recover.
Alternative comedy BoJack Horseman (2014-2020) does show a main character, Princess Carolyn, talking about how she struggles to feel that special feeling with her new baby too. And well done to the writers of Sex And The City (1998-2004) for having Charlotte confide in Miranda how hard motherhood can be!
Read more here about PND and do seek help if these feelings last longer than the ‘baby blues’ period of a week or so.
Myth #12 That Your Friends And Family Can Wander In At Will To Visit You and Baby
How Bridget Jones still has the energy to think of the whole Mark Darcy/silver fox saga moments after giving birth, is beyond us. And what was Joey even doing next to Rachel’s bed when those moments could have/should have been spent with Ross?
Bridget Jones does, however, show some of the challenges of pregnancy in your 40s as a potential single parent, and some fairly realistic prenatal classes with both ‘fathers’ attending.
In It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (2014-2020), there’s a parody on trying to work out who the father of Dee’s baby is and a nod to ‘three men and a baby’, with the twist at the end being that Dee is a surrogate** to a transgender woman and her partner.
**warning – some may find this clip offensive in places
“Friends took a surprisingly modern stance on motherhood that we appreciate – Phoebe as a surrogate mother; Monica as an adoptive mother; Rachel as an accidental mother.”
#Myth 14 That You’ll Be Able To Leave The Hospital Straightaway With Your Newborn
Not until you’ve completed a load of paperwork first and shown the midwives that you are happy with feeding (which is reassuring!). But even then, you’ll probably have to wait for a shift change. So you’re not getting out of that room anytime fast!
In the Korean drama Birthcare Center (2020), it focuses not just on the pregnancy, but also the postnatal care for both mothers and their babies, including the challenges faced by working women.
#Myth 15 That Breastfeeding Will Be *So* Easy
They don’t usually show how it’s something that has to be taught, learnt or that baby will ‘bite’ your nipples. Or how may you have to squeeze your breast in the right position or have your baby’s tongue-tie sorted.
Phoebe in Friends gives birth to triplets, and pretty much hands them straight over to her brother Frank and his wife Alice. So what happened to Phoebe’s colostrum? Or breast-feeding in general? Was she tandem-feeding the triplets and secretly living in Frank and Alice’s apartment for the following six months? Or did her milk never come in? So many questions.
How did Chandler and Monica feed the twins? Again, they were handed straight over from Erika with less than a day in hospital. What of the paperwork?
Also, name a single film or TV series which shows mastitis…a shout out to Sex And The City here which does actually show the struggles of breastfeeding thanks to Miranda.
#Myth 16 That You’ll Regain Your Pre-Pregnancy Shape ‘Moments’ After The Birth
In many films, the mother miraculously returns to her pre-pregnancy size and shape the moment the baby is born. Rachel Green. AKA Jennifer Aniston. No one gives birth and looks that good straight after.
In WandaVision (2021) we see a parody when Wanda gives birth to her twin sons. She pushes out each baby in less than a minute before bouncing back almost immediately to her old physique.
“You almost assume from the media/films etc that after a few weeks you are good to go but it takes over a year sometimes longer for your body to fully heal and recover.”
– Alex, Team Happity
“People will actually think you’re still pregnant for a few days, weeks – or even months – after!”
– Liz, Team Happity
#Myth 17 That Your Baby Will Only Be Awake During Sociable Hours
Even in that episode of Friends where baby Emma won’t stop crying, she sticks to daylight hours. Aunt Monica is called upon to rock her to sleep, while Rachel/Jennifer lounges around in the living room. In reality, she would be trying to (cluster) feed Emma every one to two hours and rocking her to sleep herself, while stumbling around in that newborn fog which doesn’t seem to lift until at least 10 weeks.
Here’s a relatable clip from The Big Bang Theoryof Bernadette trying to get her baby to go to sleep. And many new mums do face fears about their child being safe like in Friends where Rachel thinks her apartment has flooded. It’s done in a comedy way but there’s clearly some truth behind it.
So there we have it. Some pregnancy myths debunked and explored. And check out these films too if you want to see for yourself how different films show pregnancy and birth. And here are some more pregnancy reveals in films for fun.
“So the key takeaway from this is that we all learnt about pregnancy from Friends?!”
– Sara, Happity Co-Founder
Want to get out and about, have fun with your baby or toddler, and meet other parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
What can you expect at your first sensory class? We’re joined by Tracey O’Connor-Corrie of Sunshine Sensory to learn what to expect when we go to a sensory class for the very first time.
Looking for fun activities with your baby or toddler? There are thousands of classes and groups on Happity. Find one you’ll love here.
What Is A Sensory Class?
Sensory sessions provide your little one with the stimulation to develop all their senses through play and natural interactions. Generally, these classes run from birth to thirteen months. However, with a greater understanding of the importance of sensory opportunities as children grow into toddlers, there are many classes now for older children.
What Does A Typical Session Look Like?
Every class you attend will be slightly different, and it is about finding the right fit for you.
At a sensory class, you will typically be greeted by the class teacher and explained what will happen in the session. Generally, you will sing a hello song welcoming all the babies to class. Next will be the activities and songs where your baby will have chance to explore lots of resources. Then it will be time for the goodbye song and before you realise it, you’ll be packing up and planning your next visit.
What Makes A Sunshine Sensory Class Unique?
At Sunshine Sensory we read through a story and explore natural and heuristic resources to represent the different parts of the story alongside lots of fun different types of music.
Sunshine Sensory classes are about having fun in a relaxed environment. The resources are open-ended so every child’s personal development target can be met each session. The class sizes are small to enable parents to chat as a group and develop comradery with each other. At the end of the day we are all parents and know the battles that we can all face. It’s about sticking together, supporting each other however we can and trying to provide reassurance and support. A Sunshine Sensory class isn’t just about joining a class. It’s about joining the whole community.
What Are The Benefits of Sensory Classes?
1. Helping Your Baby Develop
Sensory classes are so important for the development of your baby. They provide a huge range of stimulus to support your baby’s development from an early age. Everyone feels ready to start at different ages. I did classes with my daughter since she was five days old.
2. Meeting Other Parents
My five-day-old daughter mainly slept to begin with but I got to meet other parents which in those early days can be a lifesaver. Just being able to talk about how your baby is feeding, sleeping or just acting in general is nice to be able to share with someone else who is going through it too.
3. Spending Dedicated Time With Your Baby
Sensory classes are also lovely to spend some quality time with your baby. So often it’s easy to get caught up in running the house and possibly working as well. So trying to set that time aside at home is sometimes hard. By coming to a class you commit to spending the next 30-45 minutes with just your child. You can’t write that article for work, do the washing up or take the dogs for a walk. You can enjoy this time with your baby guilt-free.
Here Are Some Of My Favourite Stories From Running Sensory Classes:
1. The Shoe-Stealer
My classes go up to five years and in one particular class I had a parent at the end of the session say she couldn’t find her shoes. We looked everywhere until we realised that one of the other children in class had put the shoes onto the bottom of someone else’s pushchair, and they had walked home with them.
Luckily, we were able to find her some spare shoes and another customer saw the parent with the pushchair on her way home and told her what had happened. She came straight back but was rather embarrassed. We did all laugh about it the following week though and the parent ALWAYS checks her pushchair now.
2. The Persevering Parent
The parent who persevered!
I have been running my sessions for over five years now and I have never met a parent with so much determination as one of my most recent. She began class when her daughter was three weeks old. Baby cried basically the whole time. But mam remained so calm (she was also a first time mum) and just chatted to everyone and comforted baby at the same time. This continued for the whole six week term.
Mam signed back up the following term and gradually baby began to settle. Now she is the most smiley and happy baby. She definitely has her own opinions and I can’t wait for her personality to really come out because she is going to be a sassy one! The moral is that even if it’s hard work, stay calm and persevere. It sometimes takes time for your baby to learn they are safe in a new environment with new people. It’s worth persevering because once they settle, they will come to love the sessions, develop so much and gain so much confidence from the classes.
What If I Don’t Get On At A Sensory Class?
Please don’t be put off if you don’t like the first class you visit. Just go and try another one. Also remember what appeals to your friends doesn’t mean you will or won’t like it. Try it out for yourself first and form your own opinion.
Sometimes people don’t like the songs or the setup in general. I once went to a class and didn’t really find the woman very welcoming so I didn’t go back. I did try another class where the woman was so friendly, and we ended up staying there for four years.
Thanks To Tracey – Sunshine Sensory
Sunshine Sensory is Tracey’s own company that she set up after leaving her job as an Early Years Teacher due to the demands of being a Special Needs parent. Her sensory classes aim to engage children’s creativity, curiosity and imagination from birth to five years.
She has recently launched a digital version of Sunshine Sensory for parents to be able to access their own sensory story sessions in the comfort of their own home, or for when they are simply struggling to get out.
My Sensory Classes: Sunshine Sensory
Tracy is the founder of the company Sunshine Sensory and has spent over 20 years working with EYFS and SEN children / adults. The company focuses on providing fully inclusive sensory development opportunities for all children. She provides classes, 1:1 support and online services.
Parent of two children Tracy likes to spend her spare time walking, reading and spending time with her family.
Talking about IVF with loved ones who may not understand it can feel like an intimidating subject at times. As you begin your IVF journey, you’ll soon find friends and family asking you questions. These conversations can be exciting but quickly become overwhelming.
We’re joined by Rosie Buckley who is here to share her personal top tips. She’s written this article with the hopes that it will help you prepare for how you want to carry out certain conversations.
Looking for fun activities with your baby or toddler? There are thousands of classes and groups on Happity. Find one you’ll love here.
Setting Personal Boundaries
IVF is your own personal journey and you don’t have to share everything if you don’t want to. You may set communication boundaries like only discussing things when you reach milestones or have news. This could be deciding to keep your IVF journey private until you’re officially pregnant. Many people receiving IVF also set emotional boundaries like declining invites to baby showers or parties. If something feels too emotionally difficult, that’s okay! Give a brief explanation, and people should understand; you don’t have to go into detail.
Setting boundaries also means you don’t have to answer every question you’re asked. If a friend or family member asks you something you don’t feel comfortable answering, you don’t have to. Coming up with some prepared answers to give can help you feel safe. “I’d rather not talk about that at this stage in my journey”, or “I don’t want to give details.” Discuss boundaries with your partner so you can decide together what you’re both comfortable with.
Choosing The Right Time And Place
IVF is an emotional rollercoaster. Some days you can feel more anxious than others. Because of this, talking about IVF may seem emotional when your stress levels are heightened. Some people choose to put a limit on how long they talk about their fertility journey for each day. If you’re not up for a conversation about IVF, politely turn it down.
You may also discuss different things with different people. For example, if you have a friend that you’re open with, you might be comfortable talking about procedures in detail. With older relatives, discussing anything too sexual can feel awkward. Instead, you can choose to be more vague with some people. Something like “we’re getting treatment to help us have a baby” gets straight to the point and doesn’t reveal too much.
Educating Others – Talking About IVF
As you embark on your journey, you’ll start to understand IVF well. However, some family members and friends will be confused as to what it is. Educating them means they’ll be more prepared with how to give you support. You don’t have to go into detail, but explaining in simple terms will help them.
Tell them that IVF stands for in vitro fertilisation and is a fertility treatment. Explaining a bit more about the process will be useful too. Simply saying that “a woman’s egg is fertilised in a lab and then placed in the womb to grow into a baby” will give them a straightforward definition. Also explaining any emotional strains will help them understand any challenges you’re facing. Knowing your situation means they can be more empathetic and understanding. If you’re not sure how to explain, you could give them links to useful online resources to look at.
Building Supportive Relationships
Another way to get support is by going to classes to make new connections. Other expectant parents will be understanding of your journey and can be super supportive. It can be useful to have someone around you who can relate to your situation. They may have already been through a procedure you’re worried about and can give you advice. Or maybe they’re experiencing similar emotions and want to talk to you about it.
Handling Other People’s Reactions
As you talk about your IVF journey, you may be met with varied responses. Most of these will come from a place of support and excitement. Unfortunately, some responses can be discomforting and some even judgemental. Some people see IVF as a taboo topic because they aren’t educated enough on the subject. Telling them statistics or providing them with information can help to change their mind. Sometimes you can’t change someone’s opinion which can be frustrating. If you find yourself in this situation, don’t keep trying because it will eventually become draining.
Sharing With New Friends
You can share as little or as much as you want with new friends. You may fear judgment, but friends can be a great support. Let them know how they can be there for you. This might be to send regular texts checking in or that you’d like to meet up more often if possible. Make them aware of any boundaries you have as well. Remember to share only what you feel comfortable talking about.
Don’t forget that you’re doing amazing! Hopefully this article has given you some great pointers on how to share and will help you to get started with talking about your IVF journey.
Thanks To Our Guest Expert – Rosie Buckley
Rosie Buckley is a freelance writer with a passion for writing and a love for exploring diverse topics. I enjoy diving into subjects close to my heart and bringing them to life through engaging well-researched content. Check out Rosie’s Instagram here!
How do you get through Christmas and help your child with their emotional regulation? Helen Guntrip of Talk & Move joins us to explain five steps you can take to help support you and your children regulate your emotions this festive season.
Looking for festive fun to feel the Christmas Spirit with your baby or toddler? It’s never too early to book a Christmas class on Happity. Find one you’ll love here.
Why Can Christmas Feel Stressful With Children?
Christmas can be a special but busy time for families. We all have different sensory personalities, and this includes our babies and children. While some people thrive on the extra social interaction that comes with the festive season, others feel their social battery draining as they have to mix with more people than usual. Although it can be lovely to see family and friends and go to lots of Christmas events, it can also put increased stress on both your and your little ones’ nervous systems.
So here are five tips to support your family’s emotional regulation at Christmas time:
1. Reduce Stimulation This Festive Season
Babies and young children understand and experience the world through their senses. This means that they can get easily overwhelmed, especially in noisy and unfamiliar environments. So, how do you help them find calm?
Arrange to have a quiet space (in your home or someone else’s) where you can take your baby or child away to have a sensory break from the people, noise, lights and smells. We know that dimmed lights, closeness and quiet increase oxytocin and can be emotionally regulating for everyone. A distraction-free comfortable space to feed your baby can also be beneficial. Having a favourite book or familiar soft toy with you can encourage your child to have some ‘down time’ by enjoying a calm activity and reconnecting with you.
2. It’s Ok To Say No When People Want To Hold Your Baby Or Hug Your Children At Christmas Time (And All Year Round)
Some babies don’t mind lots of social interaction. In which case, enjoy having some time with your hands free! Other babies prefer to be held by someone familiar, especially if they are in an unfamiliar environment. When lots of different people hold your baby it can be unsettling for them. Why? This is because they have to get used to each person’s different touch, smell and voice. You are their safe space and one of the people who they feel most comfortable with.
You may worry that people will be offended if you don’t want to pass your baby around. Practice a script that you can use, e.g. ‘Thank you for offering. I’m going to hold her for now.’
There can be a pressure on young children to speak to, hug or kiss family and friends. Even at a young age, children are able to consent to physical affection. It is important to respect their choice and teach them that it is always ok to say no. You can practice a non-verbal alternative with your child such as a smile, wave or a thumbs-up if children don’t want to speak. Giving children the space to process their environment and the people around them can ultimately lead to more verbal interaction than if you force them to speak.
3. Get Some Fresh Air
Getting out of the house and into the fresh air can be great for you and your children. Take a sling or pram with you so that you can get out for a walk. Even just a short walk around the block can help you to feel calmer. Babywearing can be a good option inside too as babies can be comforted being close to you.
Toddlers often have lots of excess energy, especially with all the excitement of Christmas. Incorporating daily movement such as running, walking, scooting can be a great way for young children to regulate heightened emotions. If you can’t get out of your home try putting on some music and dancing with your little ones.
4. Don’t Be Afraid Of Your Baby Crying Or Your Child Having A Meltdown
All babies cry and all children have tantrums. People can have mixed reactions to hearing a baby or child crying, often linked to their childhood or experience as a parent. If your baby cries, try to remember and remind others that it’s their only way of communicating. When toddlers struggle with their emotional regulation at Christmas and are crying, they are unable to process what you are saying or respond to you with words. Crying children are not a reflection of your ability to parent. Remember, it’s the simple things that are always with you that are calming and regulating: your voice; singing and using a soothing tone, your touch; cuddles and massage, movement; gentle repetitive motions such as rocking and walking.
5. Drop The Need For Perfection
In order to help your children with their emotional regulation at Christmas time, you must first look after yourself. Try to reduce the pressure on yourself to be the perfect parent, perfect host and have perfect children, as there is no such thing! The reality is that your routines are likely to go out of the window, which can make both you and your children feel less settled. The festive period can be confusing for children as the usual structure of childcare, nap times and mealtimes changes.
Time is an abstract concept that is difficult for children to understand so we need to make it visual for them. Try making a visual timetable and draw simple pictures to show them what they will be doing, e.g.
1. Get dressed
2. Get in the car
3. Drive to Grandma’s house
4. Eat lunch
Your children may have an advent calendar but often the only thing they think about is the chocolate. As it gets closer to Christmas Day some children will benefit from a ‘how many sleeps until Christmas’ countdown chart to tick off each day. You can get free downloads of Christmas visual timetables and Christmas Countdown charts by visiting Talk & Move on Instagram.
What If It’s My Child’s First Christmas?
If it’s your first Christmas with a baby, or maybe as a parent of two or more children, have realistic expectations that it may feel different this year. If you do decide to take it easy, have a quiet Christmas and reduce the number of people you see, that’s ok. Protecting your own and your children’s nervous systems at this busy time makes it a calmer, more enjoyable time for everyone.
Thanks To Helen Guntrip – Talk & Move
Helen is a Specialist Speech and Language Therapist and Baby and Preschool Yoga teacher. She founded the Talk & Move Programme to develop children’s speech, language and emotional regulation skills through movement. She provides classes and training courses for parents and educators. You can find Helen on Instagram: Talk & Move
Want to get out and about, have fun with your baby or toddler, and meet other parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
Parenting is full of precious firsts—those tiny moments and big milestones that you want to treasure forever. From the first cuddles at home to their first steps, every moment deserves a celebration. That’s where My 1st Years, the leading personalised baby brand, comes in.
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Why do we love them?
At Happity, we’re all about celebrating the joys of parenthood and making life easier for families. My 1st Years share those values by providing products that are not only functional but also deeply meaningful. Their dedication to quality, excellent customer service, and thoughtful design makes them a perfect fit for the Happity community.
Whether you’re looking for a gift for your own child or a present for another family, My 1st Years offers something special for every milestone.
Shop and Save with Happity
As part of the Happity community, you can enjoy 20% off your My 1st Years purchase when you book through Happity. It’s the perfect time to treat your little ones or surprise a loved one with a thoughtful gift.
As part of the Happity community, you can enjoy 20% off your My 1st Years purchase when you book through Happity. Just book any class using the yellow ‘book now’ button on Happity and your discount code will be sent to you on your confirmation email.
If you are a class provider who takes bookings through Happity: Remember to shout out about this on Instagram and Facebook! And be sure to tag us @happityapp and we’ll give it a like!
Terms & Conditions
Our monthly ‘Brand Love’ partnership is for any customers making a paid booking through Happity in the stated month.
Our monthly ‘Brand Love’ partnership is for any customers making a paid booking through Happity in the stated month.
The monthly voucher code (“Voucher Code”) is open to residents of the United Kingdom who are 16 years of age or older at the time of entry.
By purchasing a class on Happity in the relevant month, consumers will be eligible to receive a Voucher Code. Entrants will be automatically sent the Voucher Code.
We reserve the right to end any discounts or offers at any time including before the advertised end date without notice.
Everyone who books a class between 9th January and 31st January will be sent a Voucher Code. Please note that if you have a class during January but you booked it in a prior month, you won’t be sent the Voucher Code.
The promotion period begins on the 9th January and will close at 22:00 on the January 31st, 2025.
Code MFYEXCLUSIVE20 is valid off full-priced products sitewide.
Discounts do not apply to shipping costs or gift vouchers unless stated otherwise.
Codes cannot be used in conjunction with any other code or offer.
Codes are not applicable on any ‘Purflo’, ‘Sleepyhead’, ‘Merci Maman’, ‘Little People Big Dreams’, ‘Signature Books’, ‘Banwood’, ‘Plum Toys’, ‘Tonies’, ‘Le Toy Van’, ‘bigjigs’, licensed characters or ‘Scoot and Ride’ products.
The Voucher Code is awarded ‘as is’ with no warranty or guarantee, either expressed or implied, other than for the product manufacturer’s standard manufacturers warranty. No substitution or transfer is permitted, the voucher is non-exchangeable and there is no cash alternative or alternative of any kind to the voucher.
We will not pass on your personal details to any other organisation without your permission
If the promotion is refused to an individual – any decision we make is final and binding in all matters and no further correspondence will be entered into.
Only one code can be applied per order. Codes cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer and are not available for staff of My First Years
Codes are territory/store specific, cannot be exchanged for cash and are non-transferable.
Codes cannot be applied towards delivery charges.
As the promoter of the Voucher Code, Happity reserves the right to substitute the voucher with another voucher of similar value in the event the original voucher offered is not available.
Happity reserves the right at any time and from time to time to modify or discontinue, temporarily or permanently, the voucher with or without prior notice due to reasons outside of its control (including, without limitation, in the case of anticipated, suspected or actual fraud).
By retrieving the Voucher Code you consent to our processing of your information for the purposes of the discount.
By accepting this Voucher Code you agree to be bound by these terms and conditions and acknowledge and agree that Happity shall not be responsible for any loss, damage, injury or disappointment suffered by any entrant resulting from entering this promotion.
The Voucher Code is organised and promoted by Happity Ltd whose registered office is at 85 Great Portland Street, London, England, W1W 7LT
Want To Get Out And About, Have Fun With Your Baby Or Toddler, And Meet Other Parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
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