The Most Common Questions From Parents On The First Day Of Nursery

by Liz Melnyczuk | Apr 17, 2025 | Nursery, Parenting, Toddler

It’s very usual for parents to have questions when their child is starting nursery – a lot of common questions pop up for many people! So here are some answers to some common concerns many parents have when preparing to take their little ones to nursery for the very first time.

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“What Should My Child Know Before Starting Nursery?“

In terms of practicalities, three or four-year-olds need to know what’s in their bag, how to put their coat/gloves/hat on (still with a bit of help really) and where the toilet is (even if they are still potty-training). Also find out the name of their teacher and key worker as that can really help.

In terms of learning, don’t worry. It’s common for parents to have questions about whether their kids need to have a level of knowledge before starting nursery, but in truth kids start nursery at all different levels of learning. If you have been reading books to them regularly and given them opportunities for play, that’s all they need. They will start to look at phonics in an age-appropriate way at nursery – think finding things in the classroom/garden that start with ‘s’ or ‘sh’. They will also practise their mark making (think large shapes and patterns on the floor in chalk) and take part in exploratory play (think dressing up, messy play, small world play, playing with blocks, dinosaurs etc.)

If your child has already been in a childcare setting, they can expect a continuation of the learning-through-play approach.

“Should My Child Be Able To Write Their Own Name Before Starting Nursery?“

While mark-making and writing their own name will often be something your child practises at nursery, don’t worry at all if they can’t do this before starting. It completely depends on your child’s name, shape of the letters, and their fine motor skills. Typically at nursery, three-four year-olds should still be learning all those gross motor skills and big movements through play. Fine motor skills will follow later. 

Did you know that children typically form shapes at different ages? Some don’t develop before the age of five. See this really interesting visual shared by Perth Children’s Occupational Therapy and their explanation here of how this works. So your child typically won’t be able to write a ‘Z’’ before they have learnt how to draw a diagonal or even a triangle -and that’s not usually until they are between four and a half and five and 3 months. 

“Do I Drop Off Outside The Door Or Inside The Classroom?” – Common Questions About Nursery

This really depends on the nursery, and whilst it’s common to ask, your nursery is likely to answer these sort of questions for you on your first day (if not ahead of time). Some will encourage parents to drop-off at the door because they believe it makes the transition from parent to nursery much easier (for both the parent and child!). Others will invite parents to come in the room if needed and be in the ‘background’. They will then leave once their child is looking settled and involved in an activity. Of course this doesn’t always work for everyone if the child is reluctant to let go of the parent. If your child does this, let them take the initiative in ‘showing’ you round the room as they hold your hand.

Some may take a staged approach where parents are welcome in for a few weeks, or for the first half-term. After this, nursery staff may encourage them to start dropping off at the door. Remember your nursery staff will likely have seen hundreds of little ones come through their doors. So they will be prepared for all sorts of reactions and emotions  from children and parents. A good nursery will work with the parents to help ensure that drop-off is as easy and stress-free as possible. All children are individuals so there’s no ‘one size fits all’ approach.

“What If My Toddler Cries Every Morning When Going To Nursery?” – Common Questions About Nursery

Parents often worry if the tears become a regular thing at nursery drop-off. Try not. If you think your child is crying because of the separation, that’s likely to ease over time. Try to model confident momentum with your child. If your child gets the message from you that it’s OK, and yes, you’re crying, but that’s also OK (and you’ll see them soon), some of that confidence is likely to rub off on them. Sometimes if a parent is uncertain, that can make the child feel more insecure too. So give them a hug but try not to prolong the goodbye if you feel your child is getting more upset. This may be the point where you need to pass over to the nursery staff. Some children will cry, and will also cry when they start Reception class at school. It’s totally normal. 

“How Can I Help My Child Enjoy And Settle At Nursery?“

This is one of the most common concerns / questions about when a child is starting nursery. If you think your child is crying because they really don’t like nursery, that’s slightly different. We would suggest giving it at least a full half-term or term to give them a chance to settle. Their relationship with their key worker is, well, key, so try and touch base with them every day.

If your child is not coming out of the door happily either, perhaps you could ask about staying with your child for a session, or for part of a session. Try and talk to them when they’re in a calm and relaxed mood at home, and see if you can glean what it is they don’t like. Some children just don’t like being away from home. So feeling more settled comes with time, once they get used to it and form more friendships. 

“What If I Have Questions As A Parent About My Child Settling At Nursery?“

If you think your child isn’t quite fitting in with the set-up, or there’s a dynamic with other children that doesn’t quite work, perhaps you could ask about them moving to a different room (if they have one). Try and speak to your child’s key worker regularly or arrange a longer meeting if you need to.

Or maybe it’s time to look at a slightly different nursery provision or setting. Some parents really need the childcare at this point, while for others it’s an opportunity for their children to start socialising and meeting more children their own age. Some children may simply not be ready. If you feel like you need to take your child out of nursery and either be with them yourself, use a nanny, or a relative, that can be another option too.

Compulsory schooling doesn’t actually start until age five, though the majority of children go in the September when they are still four.

“What Types Of  Different Nurseries Are There?“- Common Questions About Nursery

State-Maintained – Nursery School

Some nursery schools are a separate nursery building in its own grounds just for 3-4 year-olds (although this is rare). Sometimes these also have a ‘pre-school’ attached for 2-3 year-olds entitled for funding. You’ll get the 15 hours free (three x five hours) in the mornings and children are expected to attend every day from 9-12. Nursery schools will sometimes offer wrap-around care too with lunchtime club and afternoon childcare which you pay for, or fund as part of your 30 hours if you’re entitled to this. So nursery schools are a good option if you want your child to have a routine of going every morning for a specific chunk of time with the possibility of having some longer days.

State Maintained – Attached To A Primary School

The other, more usual, option is that the nursery will be a classroom in a primary school. This will often be next to the Reception class in the Early Years section of the school.  Again, it will be mornings only. These are less likely to offer afternoon care, though some do. Some will have the option of a paid lunchtime club, so you may be able to pick up at 1pm. This sort of nursery can be useful if you already have a child of school age in the same school, as you can drop children off at the same place and time. For pick-ups you may find there are local childminders (like Kidu Caru) who are willing to take nursery-aged children for the afternoon. So this can still work if you’re planning longer days of childcare. 

Private Nurseries

Private nurseries will cater for children from three months (sometimes younger) up to nursery class (age three to four). Some may call the nursery class ‘pre-school’ as it’s the last stage before going to Primary School. This is not to be confused with state-maintained nurseries which will use the term ‘pre-school’ for the two to three year olds and nursery for ages three to four. .

Is your child already in a private nursery setting? Then their transition to ‘preschool’ should be straightforward. Usually it’s a case of just changing rooms and teacher. They’ll likely move up with peers and friends they are familiar with, in a setting they already know.

Community-Run Playgroups

Community-run playgroups will be in a church, church hall or community centre and will often run morning-only. Unlike the nursery schools or classes, there’s usually no expectation that your child will attend every single morning. 

“My Child Has Never Attended A Nursery Before – Help!“

Has your child never attended nursery but you’re thinking of enrolling them in some form of day-care for that final year before school? The advantage of private nurseries or community-run nurseries and playgroups is that they will usually allow more flexibility about which sessions you attend, and on which days  – you won’t have to use them every morning like you do in a state-maintained nursery. But if you want a regular morning slot, then a nursery school or class that expects attendance every day could be for you!

“What Are The Advantages Of Different Types Of Childcare Settings?”

• Toddler classes and groups can help your child get used to being with other children as they learn and play.
• Private nurseries can be a good option if you want, say, two or three long full days of childcare from 7.30 to 6pm, and a couple of days where your child isn’t in nursery at all. So this can help parents who work part-time or have grandparents ready to step in some days.  Remember to claim your universal free 15 hours in your monthly invoice. Most private nurseries will want you to book more hours than just the 15 (as they’re running a business). Remember to use your tax-free childcare as well if you qualify. Or 30 hours if you and your partner (if you have one) are both working and meet the criteria. 
• Community-run playgroups can be good if you want a more ‘casual’ form of childcare. Of course your child can attend every day (make sure you claim your 15 free hours within this). Or just choose which sessions work for you. Community-run playgroups will often be run in a church or community centre with shorter sessions. 
• Nursery schools or nursery classes within primary schools can be great if you want a regular, morning-only childcare slot (though some offer more). It’s an opportunity for your child to be in a structured environment and perhaps get used to the actual primary school they may end up going to. There will also be continuity in terms of the Early Foundation Stage curriculum between nursery and Reception Class, as well as some continuity in friendships with some children applying for the same school for next year.

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