I was a secondary school teacher, and then later worked in management at a university. I really enjoyed that job. I was adamant nothing would change when I had a child… How wrong I was!
Daisy Ferns left her pre-motherhood job in management a university to start her own sleep consultancy business: Lavender Blue Sleep Consulting. She lives with her husband and two children -one son (3) and one daughter (8). This is what a day in her shoes looks like.
My Day Starts… Early!
My alarm goes off at 5:50am. I always struggle to get up at that time but I love having a bit of time to myself before the daily chaos begins! I get ready and sometimes even have time for a slurp of coffee and a chapter of my book before the children are awake.
My son’s Gro Clock is set for 6:30am, and he’s usually up around 5 minutes after that. Depending on how loud he is (usually very!), he’ll rouse my daughter and she follows 5 minutes later.
We all have a quick snuggle in my bed and then I get him ready for nursery while my daughter gets herself ready for school. We leave at 7:15 for the nursery run and we’re back at 7:45am for breakfast, homework and then the walk to school.
My Work Day
I run my business from home, so that’s as soon as I get back from the school run. Not before another coffee though!
To give you a better understanding of my business, it’s good to clarify that there are two strands to Lavender Blue Sleep Consulting. One strand is working as a sleep consultant, working with parents and their little ones to help where I can. The other is running a sleep consultant training qualification, for those aspiring to do what I do.
On a typical day, I check in with my families via phone calls and/or WhatsApp, looking at how they are getting on with their sleep programme, making suggestions and providing support and accountability for getting through the sleepless nights. I might also be writing a sleep programme for a new family, doing a video consultation or running an assessment call too. Every day is different!
Twice a week I hold live online sessions for my sleep consultant students. They pop along to chat, ask questions and talk through case studies that they’re working on. I love having so many interactions with different people and, of course, talking about sleep all day!
Another big part of my job is marketing. I need to shout about how great my programmes are! I do a variety of marketing activities; attending mum and baby groups to chat to parents, designing and delivering flyers, liaising with nurseries and interacting on social media (which I have a love/hate relationship with!)
Before I Was A Mum
I was a secondary school teacher, and then later worked in management at a university. I really enjoyed that job. And I was adamant nothing would change when I had a child… How wrong I was!
Initially, I returned on 4 days a week, spending Fridays with my daughter. My son came 4 and a half years later after a house move, a wedding, 2 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy. Oh, and throw in the pandemic! I had changed so much as a person through all of this that, I couldn’t get excited about my work anymore.
We’d been having sleep problems with our daughter pretty much from birth, and things were still bad when our son came along 5 years later. We finally hired a sleep consultant to help us. And, It sounds really cliche, but it was life-changing. It helped me so much that it inspired me to start training to become one myself.
I quit my job just a few weeks after returning from maternity leave in 2021. My business has gone from strength to strength, and three years later: I now work 20 hours a week and earn double what I used to. It’s not always easy, and before becoming a mother I never would have imagined myself running a business. But I wouldn’t change it for the world.
After Work
I finish work at 3pm to pick my daughter up from school. From the school, we go directly to the nursery to pick up my son, and then we’re back for around 4:30pm. Usually, by the time we’re walking through the door, my husband is home from work and has made a start on dinner.
The children have a bit of wind-down time, and we eat at around 5/5:30pm. After we’ve eaten and cleaned up it’s bath and shower time. Bedtime for my son is 6:45pm. He’s usually desperate to get to bed and we won’t hear a peep from him until the next morning!
Our daughter on the other hand goes to bed at 8:30pm and doesn’t like to give in to tiredness. We allow her to watch some TV while we shower, do washing, make packed lunches and do the general nighttime routine. Then the TV goes off for wind-down time. Sometimes I go up to bed at 8:30pm too and read. Other times I will colour, sew or do a jigsaw downstairs (while my husband is inevitably watching football). It’s rare I’m in bed later than 9:30pm.
The majority of the time we’ll get a solid night’s sleep. That’s one of the perks of being a sleep consultant!
One Big Thing I’ve Learned As A Parent
What works for one family doesn’t work for another. Especially when it comes to sleep!
We had years of well-meaning but unhelpful advice from everyone we came across, and none of it helped our daughter until we consulted a professional.
The worst piece of advice was from a family member who told us to try giving her sweets before bed so that she would have a crazy half hour and then crash. It’s safe to say we did not try this! Other information ranged from keeping her up until you go to bed and letting her sleep with you (not happening) right through to shut the door and leave her to cry it out (not our style).
I’ve since learnt to smile, say thank you and change the subject!
My Top Parenting Hack
Use a sleep trainer clock with your children as soon as they hit two! They are so simple for even toddlers to understand and they will make you feel much more in control of the morning routine when everyone knows the earliest time they can be up.
A few things to bear in mind with this:
- Practice, practice, practice: Use the demo mode, make it a game and keep practising until your child knows that they can only get up if their owl/bunny/sunshine is lit up.
- Obey the clock at all times: if the clock isn’t on, they don’t get up! If necessary, learn how to force the clock to come on but don’t allow them up until it’s on. If you don’t follow it, they won’t either. Even if there’s only two minutes to go!
- Use enthusiasm: Make a huge fuss and be excited when the clock comes on. Praise your child’s efforts and make a big deal about it being morning
Whilst we’ve had our ups and downs with our children’s sleep, this has been one of the non-negotiables for us and it’s meant no early mornings or 5am dozing in our bed!
In Five Years
My children will be 13 and 8 and that feels like such a long way off! There’s the saying, ‘the days are long but the years are short’. And that has never felt so true when thinking about this question!
I’m hoping we will have had lots of opportunities to travel and give the children adventures by this point; we have Lapland booked for December 2024 but I’d also love to take them to Dubai and New York (or maybe I’ll go with friends and it’ll be a different experience altogether!).
I’m finding it hard to see how work will look as my business has changed so much in the last few years. Five years ago, I didn’t have a business at all and was working at a university with only one child! I love anything to do with parenting and supporting mums. With approximately two new business ideas a week I’m sure I will have added something new to what I have to offer.
Thanks To Daisy – Lavender Blue Sleep Consulting
Daisy Ferns is an award-winning sleep consultant at Lavender Blue Sleep Consulting, and founder of the Certificate in Responsive Sleep Training, an accredited sleep consultant training course. She lives in Derby with her husband and two children.
Follow Daisy on Instagram here.
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