Often when people think of parental separation anxiety, they picture a small child clutching onto their parent’s leg for dear life on their first day of nursery.
Parental Separation anxiety isn’t just hard on the little one’s though, it can be hard for you too.
Today we’re joined by Nimble, a baby-safe and planet-friendly cleaning brand, who are here to offer their tips and help on the subject.
When you’re finally in the swing of things, and life throws you another curve ball.
Did you know that when a baby orca is born, they can go a whole month without sleeping? Scientists are baffled by this finding and I’m sure any new parent would be horrified by the concept of their little one avoiding sleep for so long. Where the mother orca would usually rest for around 5-8 hours a day, she must learn to function without. I’m sure any parent reading is well aware of how much attention a baby needs in the early days of parenthood.
Babies don’t know anything when they are born, the same way cheetahs are born without survival skills. Mother Cheetah must teach them how to hunt until they are big and strong enough to try it alone. A cheetah, one of the world’s most skilled predators is simply guided by their mum, they wouldn’t make it, without a parent to show them how.
So how do you cope when your baby doesn’t rely on you to fulfil their every need?
When it’s time for them to venture out to playgroup or nursery? Maybe you’re a mum who is coming to the end of her maternity leave. Every day has been about your baby. You’ve been there for every one of their firsts.
It’s stressful, you’ve finally got the hang of this whole parenting thing, and now you must trust another caregiver with your child.
Parental Separation Anxiety refers to the strong and overwhelming feelings that arise due to the proposed or real absence of a child. Although this absence may only be for a few hours a day, in some cases, it can be incredibly stressful for parents to navigate the lack of control that comes with trusting another caregiver.
The worrying never really stops, you never stop swimming behind your child. You come up for air to answer an email, or go for a drink with an old friend, a run maybe (if you have the energy after chasing a toddler all hours of the day), but you never truly stop worrying about your baby, no matter how big they grow.
That’s where we step in. We at Nimble want to help you navigate all aspects of parenthood. And that means recognising that it’s not always easy to loosen your grip on your little one.
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Find out more here
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
First things first, your feelings are valid.
From the moment your baby is born, you are their everything. It makes sense that spending time away from the person who has become your entire world might prove difficult.
There is no shame in struggling to come to terms with such a big change. The first step is acknowledging your feelings so that you can begin to explore different ways to move through what you are experiencing.
Imagine if it was your child who was having a hard time adjusting to any type of new routine. Would you think any less of them for struggling? Or would you gently validate their experience while compassionately guiding them through it?
It’s the latter, right?
Before deciding how to cope, practise a little self-compassion. Be as kind to yourself as you would your child. Then once the self-judgement has dissipated slightly, there will be space in your brain to fill it with much nicer things
2. Rediscover Your Sense of Self
Reframing your feelings is key to tackling this next chapter of your life. Even though it might not feel like it right away, there’s so much self-discovery right in front of you. Take a trip down memory lane. What did you enjoy before you were a parent? I know, it feels like a lifetime ago. But you are still you. And to wholeheartedly show up for your child, you need to be able to meet your own needs too.
What do you care about? What gets your brain ticking? If you were at a dinner party, what would be the topic that could get you talking for hours?
If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay. It’s common for parents to slightly lose their sense of self when putting all their energy into parenting. And it’s a loving thing you’ve done for your child. But now you have the time, it’s time to rediscover the things you love. The things that make you You.
You could start small. Read that book you always wanted to know the ending to, try a new recipe that the kids would never eat, sit quietly in the garden and notice how intricately diverse and beautiful nature is.
Slowly, when time away from your little one feels less daunting, you could build yourself up and have a go at something completely new. Have a look at local clubs, and try something you have never done before. Either you try Zumba and you hate it and never return, or it reminds you of the energetic child inside you that you might’ve forgotten about.
Spending intentional time with yourself will eventually feel a lot easier. And don’t worry, you don’t have to try Zumba. But putting time and energy into your beliefs, desires and needs will strengthen your relationship with yourself and help you throughout your parenting journey.
3. Community and Connection
It’s easy to forget sometimes when wrapped up in the daily reality of parenthood. But you are not alone. A big part of reconnecting with yourself is reconnecting with the people around you.
If you parent with a partner, open up to them about the anxiety you are experiencing. This could lead to a conversation where you feel seen and understood. You may discover they are feeling similar things, or you may feel lighter having reached out for support. This applies to any type of connection.
Reaching out to friends or family could help you discover a whole network of support you might’ve forgotten about. It also develops your adult relationships and hopefully reminds you that yes, you are a parent (an exceptional one) but you are also a person, with an identity as diverse as the intricate nature that surrounds you.
Find a community ready to support you through this journey.
Let this community be the crutch that holds you up. Let us at Nimble aid you in your journey through parenthood. If you’re a new mum or dad who can’t just pick up the phone and ask for help, have a flick through our blog.
It’s full of helpful tips for new parents, and you can take from that whatever works for you. Because here at Nimble, we care. We really do. With all the worry you’re currently coping with, Nimble products can hopefully lighten your load both emotionally and practically. Our products work every time, there’s no adjustment needed so no more routines will be disrupted. And they are made from natural products that will be safe for your little one. We’ve got the practicalities sorted. You focus on yourself and your family and the rest will follow.
And remember, your little one will always need you.
I’m sure many adults can relate to the feeling of needing a parental figure’s guidance and how it never really fades. Whether that shows up when calling mum to ask how long to leave the casserole she used to make in the slow cooker, or how on earth to get the baby to settle. Ringing Dad because you have no idea what the best broadband network is or because the mould in the bathroom has come back- again.
A friend told me she rings her dad to ask him for advice on what plays to go and see because he reads the reviews in the paper. I think that’s a beautiful thing. He’s doing the slightly mundane part she doesn’t enjoy, so that she can go and experience the art that she loves.
It shows that parenting never stops. It changes, it ebbs, and it flows- but it never stops.
Unleash Joy In Every Moment – Nimble
Introducing Nimble, the UK’s award-winning child-friendly, laundry and cleaning brand, designed with parents’ needs in mind. British-made, the plant-based product range provides worry-free, effective cleaning for busy and anxious parents, navigating their way through the joyful chaos of parenthood. Fully vegan and fully biodegradable, Nimble products are safe for the family and the planet.
Disclaimer: Nimble are our partner brand for May 2024. This partnership will help us in our goal of connecting more parents with classes and to help find support near them.
Want to get out and about, have fun with your baby or toddler, and meet other parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
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