Talking about IVF with loved ones who may not understand it can feel like an intimidating subject at times. As you begin your IVF journey, you’ll soon find friends and family asking you questions. These conversations can be exciting but quickly become overwhelming.

We’re joined by Rosie Buckley who is here to share her personal top tips. She’s written this article with the hopes that it will help you prepare for how you want to carry out certain conversations.

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Setting Personal Boundaries

IVF is your own personal journey and you don’t have to share everything if you don’t want to. You may set communication boundaries like only discussing things when you reach milestones or have news. This could be deciding to keep your IVF journey private until you’re officially pregnant. Many people receiving IVF also set emotional boundaries like declining invites to baby showers or parties. If something feels too emotionally difficult, that’s okay! Give a brief explanation, and people should understand; you don’t have to go into detail.

Setting boundaries also means you don’t have to answer every question you’re asked. If a friend or family member asks you something you don’t feel comfortable answering, you don’t have to. Coming up with some prepared answers to give can help you feel safe. “I’d rather not talk about that at this stage in my journey”, or “I don’t want to give details.” Discuss boundaries with your partner so you can decide together what you’re both comfortable with.

Choosing The Right Time And Place

IVF is an emotional rollercoaster. Some days you can feel more anxious than others. Because of this, talking about IVF may seem emotional when your stress levels are heightened. Some people choose to put a limit on how long they talk about their fertility journey for each day. If you’re not up for a conversation about IVF, politely turn it down.

You may also discuss different things with different people. For example, if you have a friend that you’re open with, you might be comfortable talking about procedures in detail. With older relatives, discussing anything too sexual can feel awkward. Instead, you can choose to be more vague with some people. Something like “we’re getting treatment to help us have a baby” gets straight to the point and doesn’t reveal too much.

Educating Others – Talking About IVF

As you embark on your journey, you’ll start to understand IVF well. However, some family members and friends will be confused as to what it is. Educating them means they’ll be more prepared with how to give you support. You don’t have to go into detail, but explaining in simple terms will help them.

Tell them that IVF stands for in vitro fertilisation and is a fertility treatment. Explaining a bit more about the process will be useful too. Simply saying that “a woman’s egg is fertilised in a lab and then placed in the womb to grow into a baby” will give them a straightforward definition. Also explaining any emotional strains will help them understand any challenges you’re facing. Knowing your situation means they can be more empathetic and understanding. If you’re not sure how to explain, you could give them links to useful online resources to look at.

Building Supportive Relationships

Another way to get support is by going to classes to make new connections. Other expectant parents will be understanding of your journey and can be super supportive. It can be useful to have someone around you who can relate to your situation. They may have already been through a procedure you’re worried about and can give you advice. Or maybe they’re experiencing similar emotions and want to talk to you about it.

Handling Other People’s Reactions

As you talk about your IVF journey, you may be met with varied responses. Most of these will come from a place of support and excitement. Unfortunately, some responses can be discomforting and some even judgemental. Some people see IVF as a taboo topic because they aren’t educated enough on the subject. Telling them statistics or providing them with information can help to change their mind. Sometimes you can’t change someone’s opinion which can be frustrating. If you find yourself in this situation, don’t keep trying because it will eventually become draining.

Sharing With New Friends

You can share as little or as much as you want with new friends. You may fear judgment, but friends can be a great support. Let them know how they can be there for you. This might be to send regular texts checking in or that you’d like to meet up more often if possible. Make them aware of any boundaries you have as well. Remember to share only what you feel comfortable talking about.

Don’t forget that you’re doing amazing! Hopefully this article has given you some great pointers on how to share and will help you to get started with talking about your IVF journey.

Thanks To Our Guest Expert – Rosie Buckley

Rosie Buckley is a freelance writer with a passion for writing and a love for exploring diverse topics. I enjoy diving into subjects close to my heart and bringing them to life through engaging well-researched content. Check out Rosie’s Instagram here!

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