It’s your first day home, you’ve left the hospital, strapped your newborn lovingly/carefully into their first car seat, and driven carefully/slowly home. Or you may have had a home birth and be cradling your newborn after a few hours of much-needed sleep.
Now what? Should you open the doors to a stream of (expected) relatives and well-wishers or spend some one-to-one time with your brand-new family member?
Whatever you decide, being a bit prepared can work wonders for your emotional and physical health.
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What Should I Prioritise On My First Day Home?
For your baby, feeding, nappy changing and sleep will pretty much be the order of the day (and night). You’ll find they wake up, need a nappy change, feed, then fall asleep pretty quickly continuously. Sometimes they will need an additional nappy change (or two!) straight after feeding.
For you, focus on recovery, sleep and eating nutritious snacks. You’ll need that extra energy whether you are breast or bottle feeding as your body recovers from birth. And you’ll need to eat even more frequently if you are purely breastfeeding.
If you’ve had stitches, you may need a daily ‘sitz’ bath; if you’ve had a c-section, you will need help with lifting and practical things – even something like the kettle will feel heavy.
“Top tip: have high-energy snacks like granola, nuts, seeds, dark chocolate, flapjack or bananas to hand while you are breastfeeding or recovering.”
-Liz, Team Happity
When Can Family And Friends Come To Visit?
That’s up to you. Relatives will often be keen to visit as soon as you are home. You may welcome a grandparent, close relative or friend coming in to help you out or visit for a short period of time, but may prefer to invite other guests only once you’ve got feeding and sleeping established.
Just bear in mind that even half an hour to one hour will be exhausting if you’re making conversation. Your physical, emotional and mental health is so important after giving birth, so give yourself time to recover.
“Don’t announce to anyone/everyone straight away when baby is born. You’ll get busy with messages and people wanting to visit – take some time just with your new family/nuclear family before ‘opening the floodgates’!”
-Emily, Team Happity
If you have a partner, they will also likely be exhausted after supporting you through birth on very little sleep, so remind them to go easy on themselves as well.
“We realised pretty quickly that we would have to alter our lifestyle. Popping out to meet relatives for a few hours just wasn’t an option when we were getting feeding established, trying to grab some sleep, and expecting follow-up visits from the midwife.”
-Liz, Team Happity
What About Unexpected Guests?
Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’! If a visitor calls casually and you’re not expecting it, remember it’s OK to ask them to come back another day. You may be sleeping or feeding, so this will often be up to your partner, friend or family member to field at the door.
If they do come in, try and limit their visit to a quick 10 or 20 minutes, particularly if they’re local.
Sometimes people just want to drop off a card, gift, or food to help you out, so having a photo of mum and baby to hand (on a phone or similar) can be helpful for your partner to have and show to any calling visitors!
“When you do start having people round, set your own boundaries – can people just pop in or do you want to know they’re coming? Let them know your expectations about length of visit and be prepared for you or your partner to say “thanks, but we’re tired so can we call it a day?”
-Emily, Team Happity
How Much Should I Sleep?
Never underestimate the power of sleep! Many experts will say ‘sleep when your baby sleeps’. While this may be possible if you’re breastfeeding, and both you and baby drop off after a feed, sometimes you can get drawn into doing other jobs.
If you have a partner, friend or relative around, try and get them to do the practical things like taking nappies out to the bin, doing a quick wash or tidy up, making cups of tea and sterilising bottles.
If you are bottle feeding (or want to express some milk for a bottle feed), see if your partner can do one of the feeds downstairs (placing your baby in a Moses basket or crib near them when they drop off) and head into the bedroom for a longer sleep.
You may be tag-teaming in those early days and weeks when it comes to sleep and food.
Check out the 5-5-5 rule for resting and sleeping here.
“Make sure your partner does lots of holding, nappy changes and skin time so they can bond (and you can rest!!)
-Lucy, Team Happity
What Time Should A Newborn Go To Bed?
A newborn doesn’t go to bed! This can be a revelation for many parents! They will be on a continual feed-nap-wake-nappy change-feed again cycle in the newborn stage! Once you come to terms with this and start viewing your day (and night) in 2-3 hour blocks, it will feel easier to cope with.
What Should I Wear?
It’s completely up to you! Some new mums find pyjamas, nighties and dressing gowns most comfy in those early days. Others opt for joggers, slouchy tees, maternity wear or feeding tops. Throw on whatever helps you feel at ease as you recover from the birth. And don’t feel you have to get dressed up for visitors! Of course, if getting dressed up gives you a boost, then go for it!
“Plan to live in PJs for a while! Perhaps buy some new ones to feel comfy in.”
-Emily, Team Happity
Will Any Health Professionals Visit Me On My First Day Home With Baby?
If you’ve just been checked and discharged from the hospital or checked over after a home birth, it’s unlikely you will have a home visit from a midwife or similar on that first day home.
If everything has gone according to plan, they will leave you for one or two days to get feeding established. Then, depending on how things are going, someone may visit you daily if needed or every few days.
What About Meals?
If you had time to do any batch-cooking and freezing of food before giving birth, now is an ideal time to tuck into those meals. If a partner or friend has the energy to cook, then great. Otherwise, give yourself permission to order takeaway, get in a recipe box, or accept meals from other people. Anything to make your life easier at the start!
“Arrange for someone else to ensure that all your favourite foods and snacks are ready at home.”
-Alex, Team Happity
Remember, food, rest and recovery (for both you and baby) are your priority in those precious first few days. You’ll find life moves at a different pace and that’s OK!
“Did you know that in some cultures (depending on wealth levels!), new mums will check into a “baby hotel” for R&R for 40 days – and/or have mums, sisters and aunties to help them out? So don’t expect too much of yourself – and if people are demanding too much of you (to visit etc.) you can just say “not yet”.”
-Emily, Team Happity
Want to get out and about, have fun with your baby or toddler, and meet other parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
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